1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
3
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:31,731
["Candy Apple Red"
by Annabelle Chairlegs playing]
4
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:44,144
♪ I see deep brick red
Slick cherry red ♪
5
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:46,479
♪ Shiny rosy red
Candy apple red ♪
6
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,015
♪ A stellar deep red
On your face... ♪
7
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,117
[woman] Welcome
to New York City,
8
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,719
the capital of the world.
9
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,123
Ew, gag wad, not Times Square!
10
00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:01,360
That's for crusty Elmo costumes
and fanny-packing tourists.
11
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,630
Uptown, please. Much better.
12
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,532
Here's my little slice
of the juicy Big Apple.
13
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,368
The Upper East Side.
We've got it all.
14
00:01:09,368 --> 00:01:12,038
Blonde WASPs,
rhinoplasty patients,
15
00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:14,373
crypto bros, third wife hoes,
16
00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:15,875
bums, mums.
17
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,443
If aliens landed
on Fifth Avenue,
18
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:20,580
they think the dominant
form of life was nannies.
19
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,084
But I digress.
My name is Dzanielle.
20
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,585
I was one of those
people who said
21
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,253
they grew up 20 minutes
from the City,
22
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,155
but really it was
an hour and a half.
23
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:32,926
I finally clawed my way
to the 212 and never left.
24
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:37,463
I'm a mom-fluencer
with 999,000 followers.
25
00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:40,399
I'm gonna get to a mil
if it fucking kills me.
26
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:43,870
I have famous actors
who follow me, models,
27
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:46,072
but mostly it's moms
and gays who want to see
28
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:48,308
the Upper East Side lifestyle.
29
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:51,610
This is my street.
I've just come
from my fave market, Eli's.
30
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:55,782
71 bucks a pound, but worth it.
31
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,416
Who wants to mess up their
32
00:01:57,416 --> 00:01:59,585
Tom Ford come-fuck-me
red lipstick on the leaves?
33
00:01:59,585 --> 00:02:02,488
If Marty Scorsese can make
an entire "Netflick"
34
00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:05,892
about Fran "I Never Heard
of Moisturizer" Lebowitz,
35
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:08,094
then I can have
my own Dzanielle movie.
36
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,364
♪ Slick cherry red
Shiny rosy red ♪
37
00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:14,134
♪ Candy apple red
A stellar deep red ♪
38
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,269
♪ On your face ♪
39
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:17,804
♪ Face ♪
40
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,472
♪ Face ♪
41
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,907
♪ Face... ♪
42
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,409
-[song fades]
-[indistinct crowd chatter]
43
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:25,611
-[woman] Dzanielle, look here!
-[woman 2] Beautiful!
44
00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:27,113
Okay, now I want a full shot!
45
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,782
[Dzanielle] For those of us
who don't work...
46
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,249
like work in an office...
47
00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:32,485
we throw ourselves
into philanthropy.
48
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:34,520
Some are intimate
ladies-who-lunch things,
49
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,322
and some are huge galas,
50
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:39,392
so big even the kinetic cunts
from Greenwich schlep in.
51
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,161
[Drew] Guess what?
I went out and got the face mask
52
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,628
and used it
and it worked wonders.
53
00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:45,031
It's like, legit skin
of a fetus afterwards.
54
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:48,234
I am so glad. There's something
really grodisime in it,
like snail jizz.
55
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:49,903
-But that shit works.
-Well... [laughs]
56
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,405
No, look at you,
Guantanamo slay.
57
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,941
-Can we take a picture together?
-Of course.
58
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,177
-Okay.
-My assistant Caroline
has my selfie.
59
00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:00,046
-Can I borrow...
Thanks, Caroline.
-I can't miss this moment.
60
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:01,681
[photographer]
Dzanielle! Dzanielle!
61
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:04,383
[Dzanielle] Bye, honey.
I'll DM you my number.
62
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:05,752
Love her!
63
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,988
[woman] Obesity
doesn't just affect humans,
64
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:11,858
which is why Lipo For Manatees
needs your help.
65
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,227
-[applause]
-Um, hi.
66
00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:16,662
My entire family, like,
worships your Instagram.
67
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:19,099
-Can I trouble you
for a quick selfie?
-Of course!
68
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:23,003
[Dzanielle] The packed
social season is where
I see all my friends and fans
69
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:25,238
and connect with everyone
while looking fab
70
00:03:25,304 --> 00:03:27,707
to raise money
for a good cause.
71
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:31,811
Thank you for supporting FAB,
the Food Allergy Ball.
72
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:36,883
Capri is the Nantucket of Italy,
and we must fight to SCIRF.
73
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:41,654
So grateful you could
all join me today at the
12th Annual FUTI Luncheon,
74
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,858
to fight
urinary tract infections.
75
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:48,228
Ladies, burning clits
are no joke.
76
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:50,964
[Dzanielle] But the highlight of
my life is none of that.
77
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,430
It's my family.
78
00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,334
My two amazing kids,
Jared and Dakota,
79
00:03:55,334 --> 00:03:57,170
are the lights of my life.
80
00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:00,040
And, well, I used to have
an amazing husband,
81
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,208
but now I have
a beautiful divorce,
82
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,010
-since a year and half ago.
-Hello.
83
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:06,579
Hi, my loves!
How was your dad's?
84
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,983
My bar mitzvah tutoring goes
by so slowly. It's torture.
85
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,052
-Jared.-Natalay!
86
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:14,821
-Hi. Hi.
-Hi.
87
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,555
[Dzanielle] Oh.
88
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:18,724
I still love him,
89
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,328
but he cheated on me,
so also I despise him.
90
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,530
You said I should
get my boobs done!
91
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,367
No, no, no, bullshit.
You said, and I quote,
92
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,936
"Do you think
I should get a boob job?"
93
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,872
And I said that I supported you.
94
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:35,441
You didn't tell me
that we wouldn't be able
to touch each other for a month.
95
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:36,542
I'm not Gandhi.
96
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,945
I'm pretty sure
he was like a sex addict,
97
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,613
and he banged his niece.
98
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,115
That can't be true.
99
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,717
Okay, well, whatever, a priest.
100
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,486
-Have you seen Spotlight ?
-I knew that was a bad example.
101
00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:50,056
It meant nothing.
It wasn't a big deal.
102
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,258
You have to believe me,
I love you.
103
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,260
You're making a mountain
out of a molehill.
104
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:57,196
Going to the special massage
place is not a fucking molehill.
105
00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,532
Just jerk off
like everybody else.
106
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:03,202
You couldn't even
make it a month without
getting a happy ending shiatsu?
107
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:06,439
-You suggested the place.
-I was joking!
108
00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:09,109
Okay, I should...
I should probably get going.
109
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:15,615
I had to perp walk
a V.P. out of the office
for using the company card on...
110
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,384
Charming. [chuckles]
111
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:21,321
I have a really big day, too.
I'm meeting with General Mills.
112
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,824
They want to sponsor a post,
and then Bronson Van Wyck,
113
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,093
the event planner
for the party.
114
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,695
You know...
[clears throat]
115
00:05:29,695 --> 00:05:32,365
I think it might be nice if...
116
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,268
I was involved
a little in the planning
of the b'nai mitzvah.
117
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:38,338
The kids are so excited. It's
the biggest day of their lives,
118
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,607
and, you know,
I wouldn't want you
doing everything by yourself.
119
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,176
Oh, I got it covered.
120
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:45,145
I'm gonna do like,
a whole kids area
121
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,713
with
the Dylan's Candy bar pop up,
122
00:05:47,713 --> 00:05:53,353
and then stations
with, like, pigs in blankets
and sliders, only bigger.
123
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,723
Okay.
124
00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,226
Okay. Kids, I have to get going.
125
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,195
All right. Oh, sweetheart.
126
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:05,465
[Dzanielle] This last year has
been hard on Jared and Dakota.
127
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:09,068
Since our divorce, we've been
playing a game of guilt chess.
128
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:12,538
His big move was giving us
our dog, Natalay.
129
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,707
-Natalay. [baby talk]
-[dog growling]
130
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:17,076
Come, come. Come, come.
Come, come. Natalay!
131
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:18,711
[Dzanielle] My community
of followers
132
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,646
has really gotten
me through some tough times.
133
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,082
Especially when
my cousin/best friend,
134
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,185
Kim, moved to California
135
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,987
during her midlife crisis
136
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,155
in search of
spiritual enlightenment,
137
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,124
right after my divorce
was final.
138
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,959
[Kim] I was gonna
call you yesterday.
139
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,997
I did this ayahuasca trip
with this shaman in Topanga,
140
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,597
and it was a-fucking-mazing!
141
00:06:38,597 --> 00:06:41,667
I mean, I vomited all over
the chick next to me,
142
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:45,205
and I was, like,
diarrhea-ing out of my asshole.
143
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,408
But I fit into my high school
jeans the next morning.
144
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,143
Sounds great.
145
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,278
I'm trying to embrace
a new chapter
146
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,547
and Marie Kondo
my life to spark joy.
147
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,549
In your town, you might
make friends
148
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,751
at your church
or your little cul-de-sac,
149
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,254
but here it's all about
your kids' private school.
150
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,856
That's how I met
my pedicure posse.
151
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,458
It was so stressful.
152
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:08,061
We get home, we're totally
drenched, drowned rats.
153
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:13,632
I bust into my bedroom,
and my nanny is in bed
shtufing my massage therapist.
154
00:07:13,632 --> 00:07:15,468
I'm deceased!
155
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,403
So, I fire them
on the literal spots
156
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:21,041
they were 69-ing on,
on my 2000 thread counts.
157
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,409
Now, I have no nanny
and no massage therapist.
158
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:26,112
My rectum muscles are killing
me! I'm so uncomfortable.
159
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,782
[speaking native language]
160
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,061
[Dzanielle]
Karen. So sorry.
161
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,395
Do you mind
making the corners,
162
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,297
like,
less square and more rounded?
163
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,067
-I call it squoval.
-Yes, Ms. Dzanielle.
164
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,136
Uh, time out.
Your nails are amazing.
165
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,238
-What color is that?
-It's three layers.
166
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,606
One coat of hot tub harlot,
167
00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:55,041
one coat of Tinkerbell's Labia
168
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,709
and one coat
of elevator blowjob.
169
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:58,211
Trèès chic.
170
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:01,814
[speaking native language]
171
00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:08,354
[laughs]
It's just, planning the
b'nai mitzvah has been so crazy.
172
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,523
The theme,
by the way, is candy.
173
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,493
And I've been begging to get
one of those viral TikTok cakes.
174
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,628
Wedding size.
175
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,331
You know the rainbow
when you slice into it
and it shits out Skittles?
176
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:22,001
[shouts] Oh, look.
It's my baby, Voltaire.
177
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:25,038
Hi, Voltaire.
Hello, Voltaire, Care Bear.
178
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,972
[Dzanielle]
Wait. Hold on. Oh, my God.
179
00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:30,076
-Your dog is walked by Yuki?
-The one and only.
180
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:33,113
I texted him,
and he just never wrote me back.
181
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,515
Is he, like, that busy?
182
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,650
He accepts no one.
Jessica Chastain is wait-listed.
183
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,385
He's so sexy.
184
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:44,557
He's like an Asian Harry Styles
mixed with an Asian Idris Elba.
185
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:48,028
I heard he does omakase
five times a week.
186
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,695
[rock music playing]
187
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:53,066
Yeah, and he gets front row
seats at Fashion Week.
188
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:56,269
Oh, and Matt Damon goes to him
for life coaching.
189
00:08:57,002 --> 00:08:58,571
Yuki, what would I do
without you, man?
190
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:01,974
-You're my sage.
-You have to let it go, Matt.
191
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:04,343
[McKinley] He monitors
every single dog log
192
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:06,546
for fecal consistency
and disease control,
193
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,382
then every Friday
sends me a laminated report
194
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,717
in a leather-bound
monogram notebook.
195
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,088
He's 1,500 a week,
per pooch.
196
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,623
[speaking native language]
197
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:19,425
So...
198
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,328
McKinley,
would you ever consider
199
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,498
speaking to Yuki
on our behalf?
200
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,033
Natalay is
a thoroughbred Pomeranian.
201
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:30,236
She's from those lesbian
breeders in Wisconsin.
202
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,037
They have
a seven-year wait list.
203
00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:35,641
Oh, I love the lesbian breeders.
They're so focused.
204
00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:38,877
I'm afraid I'm not going
to be able to do it
205
00:09:38,877 --> 00:09:43,283
because if it doesn't
work out, it'll reflect
poorly on Voltaire, and...
206
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,418
I'm sorry. You understand?
207
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,388
Yeah, of course.
208
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:53,326
You guys, work is insane
for me right now.
209
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,162
Being a matchmaker for
high net worth individuals,
210
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,530
Spring is the season.
211
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,498
One of my clients
is over there right now.
212
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,434
-You set up the Hammermans?
-Mm-hmm.
213
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,403
-I always wondered
where he found her.
-In a crib.
214
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,240
You guys,
she's right there. Be quiet.
215
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,609
Whatever. It's not like English
is her first language.
216
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:13,879
His late wife, Maud Hammerman,
was the height of taste.
217
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:16,316
Blagdanorova is not like us,
218
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:20,085
and it's not because she's
from Czechoslovakia or whatever.
219
00:10:20,085 --> 00:10:23,489
It's because she's flashy,
she's cheesy.
220
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:27,493
She's super rich,
but she's tacky super rich.
221
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:29,362
Nouveau.
222
00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:32,232
Yeah, but I mean,
you could say that about me.
I'm from Long Island.
223
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:35,335
One doesn't necessarily
have to have old money,
224
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:39,639
but one has to have some sense
of refinement.
225
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:44,510
I heard she tried
to bribe my abalone
dealer to cut the wait list.
226
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,112
[chuckles]
227
00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:48,547
All right, ladies,
228
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:51,116
I should go.
I have my BBC Studios class.
229
00:10:51,116 --> 00:10:52,885
-It's been a plezh.
-Yes!
230
00:10:52,951 --> 00:10:54,487
And I'll see you all on Thursday
231
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,290
at Eliza's very,
very wonderful cause.
232
00:10:57,290 --> 00:11:00,593
-Bye, Dzanielle.
-Namaste. Bye.
233
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,796
[speaking native language]
234
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,102
[Dzanielle] My membership
to New York's top
235
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:11,837
agony-focused bespoke trainers
236
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,507
will help me release some of
this tension I'm feeling.
237
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,075
Sometimes it feels like
my IRL friends
238
00:11:17,075 --> 00:11:18,744
don't even care about my RL.
239
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:21,447
And the way they were talking
about Blagdanorova
240
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,416
was just so mean.
241
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,319
Talking shit on people can be
fun when they deserve it,
242
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,020
but she didn't do
anything to them.
243
00:11:28,086 --> 00:11:29,922
What clams!
244
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,990
[trainer] Come on!
Do you want a fupa?
245
00:11:32,057 --> 00:11:34,327
That's a fat upper pussy area!
You don't want that.
246
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:38,631
Um, FYI, my daughter, Dakota,
said that fupa's canceled now.
247
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,767
Apparently, we're supposed
to use the term "gunt."
248
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,068
Shut the fuck up!
249
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,570
[Dzanielle]
Damn, she's the best.
250
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,005
[trainer] Push, unless you
want those back wings.
251
00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:48,374
You want to look like
that flying rodent
252
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,942
that gave us the goddamn plague?
253
00:11:50,008 --> 00:11:51,544
I mean, they're my friends
and everything,
254
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,679
but they were so catty
casting aspersions
255
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,515
on this poor woman
just because she's different.
256
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:59,184
And, like, what are they saying
about me behind my back?
257
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,620
-It's a good question.
-We all live in the same nabe.
258
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:05,325
Why can't we just Sesame Street
this shit and get along?
259
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,560
Okay, now, feet together for me.
260
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,996
Deep breath.
261
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:12,565
And exhale.
262
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,233
Ow. Pierre, be careful.
263
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,902
I just got my vajay re-tightened
at V-Spot.
264
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,705
-[Pierre] Hmm.
-My cooter was so stretched out,
265
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,842
you could insert a tampon
with a t-shirt cannon.
266
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:26,746
Why didn't you just
C-section those babies
like the rest of my clients?
267
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,383
Hello. Obviously, I booked
a cesarean. I'm not an animal.
268
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,353
But Jared had other plans.
He was crowning in the lobby.
269
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:37,089
-Holy shit.
-[sighs] Fucking kids.
270
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:40,626
But it's so worth it.
I love my little semen demons.
271
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:43,829
My box was busted,
but now I'm re-virginized.
272
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,198
The murdered ghost
of Jeffrey Epstein
273
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:49,602
would rise up
and beg to fuck me.
274
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,804
They do asses?
275
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,539
[Dzanielle] I fucked up my nails
276
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:56,208
and had to go get another coat
of Tinker Bell's Labia.
277
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:57,877
While I was sitting there,
I realized
278
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,212
there's room
in this town for everyone,
279
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:02,681
and excluding people
because they aren't like you
280
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,082
is the lamest.
281
00:13:04,082 --> 00:13:06,585
So, I decided to become
the Mr. Rogers
282
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:08,654
of East 74th Street.
283
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,725
[knocking]
284
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:20,566
Hi, how are you?
285
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,267
Good afternoon.
286
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,406
You're Mrs. Hammerman's...
287
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,976
I'm Connor, the house manager.
What can I do for you?
288
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:35,014
Oh, hi, I'm Dzanielle. I'm just
dropping off this invitation.
289
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,150
Sorry, I just had my nails done.
Still tacky.
290
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:40,753
-[Connor] Mm-hmm.
-Thanks.
291
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,788
I'm having a luncheon,
and if you
292
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:44,957
could just give her that for me.
293
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,359
Thank you.
294
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,061
Of course, madam.
295
00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:52,398
[keys jingling]
296
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,268
[Connor] Come, come.
297
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,270
Thank you, Connor.
298
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,239
How's Mr. Hammerman
holding up today?
299
00:14:01,239 --> 00:14:04,510
Making the Cryptkeeper look like
Timothée fucking Chalamet.
300
00:14:06,144 --> 00:14:09,114
[strong Latvian accent]
Aw, is that my baby?
301
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,183
That's my baby!
302
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,653
What's this?
303
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:16,422
"Please join me..."
304
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,758
Oh, my God.
305
00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:23,662
Is the happiest lady! She
invited me for ladies' luncheon!
306
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,330
[cheers]
307
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:29,267
Yes! Oh, would you please call
my hair and make-up peoples?
308
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:34,640
Oh! What I wear?
What I wear? Morty!
309
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,709
[giddy]Morty!
310
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,620
Oh, my angel.
311
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,321
Hello, morning, darling.
312
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,360
You look so beautiful, my love.
313
00:14:55,360 --> 00:15:00,365
-How are you feeling?
-Better, now seeing you.
314
00:15:00,365 --> 00:15:04,269
Morty.
And look, she invite me.
315
00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:07,372
Ahh.
316
00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:10,275
I always feel invisible
with these people.
317
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:15,047
Blaggi,
most people, they're jealous.
318
00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:18,417
They don't know us.
They don't know you.
319
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:23,188
They don't know what a kind,
beautiful heart you have.
320
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,492
-[coughs]
-Oh, are you okay?
321
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,360
Should I call nurse?
322
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,063
-Nurse! Oh, no.
-[coughs]
323
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,201
I need to rest
a little bit, my love.
324
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:37,903
-Okay.
-All right.
325
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:39,271
I love you.
326
00:15:40,405 --> 00:15:41,907
Okay.
327
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,109
I'll be back after you take nap.
328
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,912
I see you later, and I...
I feed you soups.
329
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,380
Okay.
330
00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:51,116
[Dzanielle] I knew
I was doing the right thing
331
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,985
by including Blagdanorova.
332
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,821
I watched the master class
in hostage negotiation,
333
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:59,290
so I knew damn well how
to make everything copacetic
334
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:02,094
while rocking out
my new Alice and Olivia.
335
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:06,031
336
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:09,068
Mike! How's that
Knicks game last night?
337
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,671
[Mike] It was
a goddamn embarrassment.
338
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,506
- I have
-Hi, Mike.
339
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:17,242
Where in Satan's
hairy nut sack is my Uber?
340
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,211
Hey, could you spare a dollar?
341
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,379
I'm not a junkie.
I just need money for food.
342
00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:25,150
Oh, I would, but I'm late
for a charity lunch.
343
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,819
You could buy me
a charity lunch.
344
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,420
[both laugh]
345
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:31,790
Is that tee from the Weiss'
rap-themed bar mitzvah?
346
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,358
Yeah, it is.
347
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:36,294
My whole wardrobe consists
of cast-off bar mitzvah swag.
348
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:39,431
The Jews, they leave them
on the corner for me. Yeah.
349
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:42,201
-You're hilarious. Take care.
-You too, thank you.
350
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:46,171
Have a... Thank you
for helping someone... else.
351
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,540
-So simple, right?
-Mm-hmm.
352
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:51,376
I mean, where did she come from?
[chuckles]
353
00:16:51,376 --> 00:16:53,546
[all laughing]
354
00:16:56,915 --> 00:17:00,185
[soft gasp]
Blagdanorova, hi!
355
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,657
-[strong Latvian accent] Hello.
-Thank you.
356
00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,026
Ah, you can call me Blag.
357
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,694
Oh, hello, Blag.
358
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:12,097
Please come sit down. I'm so
glad the invitation got to you.
359
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,833
I know how busy you
and Mr. Hammerman must be.
360
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:17,737
[Blag] Very happy
to have invitation.
361
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,071
I usually read to him all day,
362
00:17:20,137 --> 00:17:22,374
so it's very nice to get out
of the house.
363
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,978
[Dzanielle] Oh, I'm so glad
you did. Let me introduce you
to everyone.
364
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,813
This is Amy and Pam.
365
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,648
-Hi!-Ben?
366
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,751
Pam, P as in psychologist,
367
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,954
A as an aesthetic,
M as in I used to be a model.
368
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,690
-[laughter]
-Of course, you know McKinley.
369
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,858
Oh, yes, my fairy godmother.
370
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,827
I love love.
371
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:44,229
And this is Eliza and Liz.
372
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,899
Hi, Liz Hittler.
Two T's, no relation.
373
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,667
Thought we weren't doing
last names.
374
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,535
Hello.
375
00:17:50,535 --> 00:17:52,237
I chair this benefit.
376
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,573
[Blag] Thank you for having me.
It's a beautiful event.
377
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:55,741
So...
378
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,145
How... How did you get here?
379
00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:02,281
To America?
380
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:05,751
Oh, for most women from Latvia,
381
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,386
-the only way out
is on your back.
-Oh.
382
00:18:08,453 --> 00:18:12,557
I was a famous ballroom
dancer in Riga
383
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,127
with my partner Sigmar.
384
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:19,531
[sighs] We danced and loved
all day and night.
385
00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:20,966
[light chuckles]
386
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,534
We get visa
387
00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:25,537
to come to the United States
for a special ability.
388
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,072
[soft whispering]
389
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:30,843
And when we arrive, he leave me
for bitch in Brooklyn.
390
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,645
-[gasps]
-She own vegan bakery.
391
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:34,279
Sigmar hate carb.
392
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,182
[indistinct whispering]
You guys get together.
393
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,784
What a colossal dick hole.
394
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,219
God. Fuck that guy
in the eye socket.
395
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,188
-I am so sorry.
-Oh, no.
396
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:46,191
It fine. I meet husband,
and I have life
397
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,793
I never would have had.
398
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,495
-[man] Ladies.
-[gasps]
399
00:18:50,495 --> 00:18:51,697
[Dzanielle] Hello.
400
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,899
Perimenopausal hot flash!
401
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:55,067
Any allergies?
402
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,502
-Dairy?
-No moo, bah, or oink.
403
00:18:57,502 --> 00:19:00,706
[Dzanielle] I'm allergic
to cilantro, blue cheese,
404
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,208
those boots with open toes,
405
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,044
and the song "Sweet Caroline."
406
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,945
-[laughter]
-Make it stop.
407
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:08,246
Got you.
408
00:19:08,246 --> 00:19:10,949
Looks like Eliza sprung
for Tier Ones.
409
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,218
-You're welcome.
-What is this Tier Ones?
410
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:14,753
It's the cater waiters.
411
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,189
So for $30,
you get Bilbo Baggins.
412
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:21,193
40 bucks an hour, you get like,
um, like, attractive... ish.
413
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,028
50 bucks an hour,
and you get models.
414
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,331
Yeah. Studies have shown
that food tastes much better
415
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,934
when served by a long-lost
Hemsworth brother.
416
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,803
-[laughter]
-So true!
417
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,404
I'm not going to be able
to eat the food
418
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:35,273
because I just started
the GG cracker fast.
419
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,242
It's a little bit
like anal bulimia.
420
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:39,277
-Facts.
-Well, good for you.
421
00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:41,646
I just started reading
Dr. Melanie's latest book.
422
00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:44,049
Oh, my God, it's not that hard.
Just eat less food.
423
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,617
-Yeah.
-Changed my life.
424
00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:47,119
-I have an autographed copy.
-She's a visionary.
425
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,620
I just finished
the fourth chapter
426
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,123
where she says don't reward
yourself with food
427
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,192
-because you are not... I know.
-...you are not a dolphin.
428
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,694
-It's so simple!
-What is this book?
429
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,896
Are you, like, from Mars?
430
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,163
[laughter]
431
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:01,066
-Close. Latvia.
-It's great.
432
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,069
-Blag, I'll give you my copy.
-Thank you, Dzanielle.
433
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:07,206
So... tell me about yourselves.
434
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,408
Well, I make bespoke luggage
435
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,911
using the entire hide
of one crocodile
436
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,645
with your monogram.
437
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,580
-Ohh.
-In Sanskrit. So...
438
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,950
I commissioned one
for my 43rd birthday,
439
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,352
and then everyone wanted one.
440
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:21,787
Oh. You're sweet.
441
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:22,922
You're so... You flatter.
442
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,157
-You have 43 years?
-Mm.
443
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,524
You look amazing.
444
00:20:26,524 --> 00:20:27,993
Black don't crack.
445
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,428
[laughter]
446
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:31,696
Yeah, Black don't crack,
Asian don't raisin,
447
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:33,866
and Jews get face lifts.
448
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,400
[laughter]
449
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:37,636
You're very funny.
450
00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:39,204
[laughter dwindles]
451
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,606
Hi, again. Liz Hittler,
two T's, no relation.
452
00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:44,276
I volunteer.
453
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,277
Ohh.
454
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:47,146
-How kind.
-Well, when I'm in town.
455
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:49,514
-Mm.
-And not traveling within
the Platinum Triangle
456
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:52,084
of Aspen,
Palm Beach and Southampton.
457
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,787
[deep sigh]
I'm just a girl boss,
458
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:55,955
to be honest.
459
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,556
Oh, and what about you?
460
00:20:58,556 --> 00:21:01,493
My most important job
is a mom to my five angels.
461
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,896
Clementine, Jasper, Juno,
Hopper, and Anais.
462
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,563
[Blag] Very nice.
463
00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:07,666
I just pet-parent.
464
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:09,134
Ohh.
465
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,303
-And stepmother.
-[all] Ohh!
466
00:21:11,369 --> 00:21:12,871
How old are your husband's kids?
467
00:21:12,871 --> 00:21:16,374
57 and 59.
468
00:21:16,374 --> 00:21:18,643
-Oh.-Ohh.
469
00:21:19,744 --> 00:21:21,579
Okay.
Showtime, ladies.
470
00:21:21,579 --> 00:21:22,848
-Ohh!
-Break a leg!
471
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,783
[tapping glasses]
472
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:28,120
Thank you. Thank you all
for coming, and good afternoon.
473
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,654
All right, ladies,
474
00:21:29,654 --> 00:21:32,590
America's children are
getting dumber every day.
475
00:21:32,590 --> 00:21:34,326
-It's true.
-Yeah.
476
00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:37,062
We can't let our children lose
a single brain cell more.
477
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,998
That's why I created MAVE,
478
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,033
Mothers Against Vaping
and Edibles.
479
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,101
[applause]
480
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:45,904
Ladies, after
we pretend to eat,
481
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,273
we are going to shop
like nobody's watching...
482
00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:51,443
or checking
their credit card bills.
Am I right?
483
00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:54,612
Nothing dries up a pussy faster
than going over the AMEX bill.
484
00:21:54,612 --> 00:21:56,281
Am I right? Sahara!
485
00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:59,251
Sand's all I got
in my cooter, right?
486
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:03,255
7% of all proceeds
go to MAVE.
487
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:04,589
Amen.
488
00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:06,124
[applause]
489
00:22:06,124 --> 00:22:08,360
Thank you.
No, thank you.
490
00:22:08,426 --> 00:22:11,830
So, I got to run and pick up
the twins at water polo.
491
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,333
Oh, your kids are lucky
to have you.
492
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,701
Oh, I'm crazy
about those little nut jobs.
493
00:22:16,701 --> 00:22:18,403
As they say,
it take a "willage."
494
00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:20,772
It takes a vineyard,
is what it takes.
495
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:22,274
Ha. I like.
496
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:25,244
Thank you, Dzanielle,
for having me.
497
00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:27,379
It's so nice to make
so many new friend.
498
00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:29,414
Oh, well, I'm thrilled
you could be here.
499
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:31,250
And if you want to get more
involved
500
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:32,885
with philanthropy,
just let me know.
501
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,687
Oh, yes!
I think it would be wonderful.
502
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,655
-[phone chimes]
-Oh.
503
00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:41,593
[soft chuckle]
504
00:22:41,659 --> 00:22:43,562
[laughs] My dog, Pretoria.
505
00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:46,731
Yuki, my dog walker,
send me pictures all day.
506
00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:48,700
Oh, my God,
your dog is with Yuki?
507
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:52,504
Not to brag, but I'm kind of
a well-known influencer,
508
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:54,873
and I've begged my friends
to hook me up with him.
509
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,909
Dzanielle, let me help fix.
510
00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:59,078
Seriously,
that would be amazing.
511
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:00,913
I'm fixing right now.
512
00:23:00,913 --> 00:23:02,214
[tapping keys]
513
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,815
-Come on.
-You are a goddess.
514
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,918
-I got it.
-Thank you!
515
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:08,120
[Dzanielle]
Dogs are a great icebreaker.
516
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,922
Every family has a paw print
517
00:23:09,922 --> 00:23:12,591
on their Printery at Oyster Bay
holiday cards.
518
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:15,160
And it's not social climbing
if your pooch is
519
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,830
sniffing a CEO's dog's
nut sack. They don't know.
520
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:20,299
So when Jordy gave us Natalay,
521
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,567
I said okay, but he wasn't
going to be
522
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,036
some deadbeat dog dad.
523
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:26,939
He owes us love and support.
524
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:28,273
[message chimes]
525
00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:31,443
[sighs]
526
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:34,446
[cell phone ringing]
527
00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:39,517
[cell phone ringing]
528
00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:43,388
Dzanielle. Hi.
529
00:23:43,388 --> 00:23:46,524
Cary, what are you watching
today, porn or lacrosse?
530
00:23:46,524 --> 00:23:48,093
Get Jordan now.
531
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,329
Uh, he's in kind of
an important meeting right now.
532
00:23:50,329 --> 00:23:53,832
Unless that meeting is solving
world peace, I need him now.
533
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:56,001
-This takes precedence.
-I'm, like,
534
00:23:56,001 --> 00:24:00,139
70%... sure... that it isn't.
535
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:02,740
Tell him it's
a family emergency.
536
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:06,145
Hey. You okay? Kids okay?
537
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,313
Of course. We're fine.
I'm going to get them now.
538
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:11,516
Wh... Why did you tell Cary
it was a family emergency?
539
00:24:11,516 --> 00:24:13,152
Because it is!
540
00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:16,355
I scored an appointment with
Yuki, the famous dog walker.
541
00:24:16,421 --> 00:24:18,290
What the fuck is
a Yuki the Dog Walker?
542
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,192
5:00 sharp.
You have to be there.
543
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:22,060
I don't want him
knowing that Natalay
544
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,728
comes from a broken home.
545
00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:26,764
[groans]
546
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:30,302
Okay.
I'll be there.
547
00:24:30,902 --> 00:24:32,371
All right.
See you later.
548
00:24:32,371 --> 00:24:35,640
["Play House"
by Skating Polly playing]
549
00:24:41,779 --> 00:24:44,616
[Jared] Dude, you got
the coolest box I've ever seen.
550
00:24:44,616 --> 00:24:45,984
You like my box, huh?
551
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:48,820
-Is it paper-maché or...?
-Uh, I don't know.
552
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:52,257
You know, every year,
the second graders
from St. Bernard's, they do this
553
00:24:52,257 --> 00:24:54,659
elaborate diorama that I end up
using as a makeshift shelter.
554
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:57,162
And this year's theme
is Art Deco, so I kind of...
555
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:58,796
It's pretty cool, right?
556
00:24:58,796 --> 00:25:00,432
-Sweet!-Nice.
557
00:25:00,432 --> 00:25:03,335
And I, you know,
listen, I'd rather be here
558
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:05,637
than the panhandle
of Oklahoma,
559
00:25:05,704 --> 00:25:07,239
which is where I'm from.
560
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,041
I have all this free time
to think about...
561
00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:11,243
♪ How incredibly ♪
562
00:25:11,309 --> 00:25:13,212
-♪ Fucked... ♪
-Wow.
563
00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:15,214
♪ I am ♪
564
00:25:15,214 --> 00:25:17,416
-[Dakota] Amazing.
-[Jared] Our mom does that.
565
00:25:17,416 --> 00:25:18,717
She sucks, though.
566
00:25:18,783 --> 00:25:20,452
I was in an indie rock band.
567
00:25:20,452 --> 00:25:23,522
Um... the Princes
of Paleolithic.
568
00:25:24,322 --> 00:25:27,092
-You seem so normal.
-[Gary chuckles]
569
00:25:27,159 --> 00:25:28,660
How... How come you're homeless?
570
00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:31,663
So we prefer
the term "unhoused."
571
00:25:31,663 --> 00:25:32,964
It's fine. Don't worry about it.
572
00:25:32,964 --> 00:25:35,867
Just from now on,
maybe, say unhoused.
573
00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:37,569
-Of course.
-Uh...
574
00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:38,703
But the band broke up.
575
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:40,305
You know, you lose a gig,
576
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:44,109
one thing leads to another,
and you're on the street.
577
00:25:44,609 --> 00:25:46,078
-Hi. Hi, kids.
-Hi, Mom.
578
00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:47,912
What have I told you
about talking to strangers?
579
00:25:47,912 --> 00:25:50,415
This is Gary.
We see him every day.
580
00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:53,017
How you doing? I'm Gary.
How was your luncheon?
581
00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:55,320
Oh, thank you for asking.
582
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,355
Um... it was a huge success.
583
00:25:57,355 --> 00:25:59,091
Vapes and edibles
won't know what hit 'em.
584
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:01,226
-Oh.
-Okay. Kids, we gotta go home.
585
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:02,961
We have a very special visitor.
586
00:26:02,961 --> 00:26:04,263
-Bye, Gary.
-Bye, Gary.
587
00:26:04,329 --> 00:26:06,064
You have wonderful children.
588
00:26:06,131 --> 00:26:08,567
Thank you.
I'm Dzanielle, by the way.
589
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,335
[Gary speaks indistinctly]
590
00:26:11,369 --> 00:26:14,139
Mom, how come you don't ever
give Gary any money
591
00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:16,208
or invite him up for dinner?
592
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,210
Because that's
not how it works, honey.
593
00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:20,612
You... You don't go around
handing out cash, you know.
594
00:26:20,612 --> 00:26:23,615
You don't know if they're gonna
blow it on drugs or alcohol.
595
00:26:23,681 --> 00:26:26,818
You... You give it to a charity
or a foundation,
596
00:26:26,818 --> 00:26:28,820
and they disperse it.
597
00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:31,123
Mom, how rich are we?
598
00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,858
You two
with the questions today!
599
00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:36,495
We are very, very fortunate.
600
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:39,964
Pilar? Pilar?
601
00:26:39,964 --> 00:26:42,334
I need you to take Natalay
to her bathroom
602
00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:44,102
and get the new
Oribe spritz, okay?
603
00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:45,670
I want her fur to shine
604
00:26:45,670 --> 00:26:47,705
like she just stepped out
of Julian Farel. Okay?
605
00:26:47,705 --> 00:26:50,342
And I also need you to clean
her butthole, spritz it
606
00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:53,278
until there are cartoon twinkles
coming out of it. Okay?
607
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:55,113
Of course, Miss Dzanielle,
608
00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:57,582
and the fresh mints
you asked for are on the table.
609
00:26:57,582 --> 00:26:58,850
You're a lifesaver!
610
00:26:58,916 --> 00:27:00,152
[Jordan] Hello, hello!
611
00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:02,787
-Jord, you're late.
-I'm here, okay?
612
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,823
I ditch my meeting
and bump my call
613
00:27:04,823 --> 00:27:06,291
with Howard Schultz for you.
614
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:08,260
-Dad!
-[Dakota] Hey, Dad!
615
00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:12,197
Oh, bube.
How you doin'? Hi, bube.
616
00:27:12,197 --> 00:27:13,998
-What's going on?
-How's it going?
617
00:27:13,998 --> 00:27:15,667
Can we do anything?
618
00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:18,670
Um... yes, you can go and get
the Baccarat crystal balls,
619
00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,705
and we'll swap out these
food and water dishes.
620
00:27:20,705 --> 00:27:23,175
Yuki needs to see that
Natalay only gets the best.
621
00:27:23,175 --> 00:27:25,109
And then...
[sniffs]
622
00:27:25,109 --> 00:27:28,580
You smell like horse. Change
out of your jodhpurs. Okay?
623
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:30,114
This is all for the dog?
624
00:27:30,114 --> 00:27:31,483
The dog walker.
625
00:27:31,550 --> 00:27:34,018
And he's like the Meryl Streep
of dog walkers.
626
00:27:34,018 --> 00:27:35,920
Don't give me that look, Jordan.
627
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,955
I am on the Godfather Day
of my period,
628
00:27:37,955 --> 00:27:39,991
like flag of Japan situation.
629
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,560
Okay? So do not mess with me.
630
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,495
My hormones are raging,
and I can't even
631
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:47,832
put in a slender regular tampon
'cause I just got re-virginized.
632
00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,201
You have schmutz here.
633
00:27:49,201 --> 00:27:50,935
Wait, wait, you did that?
634
00:27:51,002 --> 00:27:52,237
Wouldn't you love to know?
635
00:27:52,237 --> 00:27:54,406
I've always wanted
to go to Japan.
636
00:27:54,472 --> 00:27:56,841
[Dzanielle] You're not coming
near my sashimi.
637
00:27:56,908 --> 00:28:01,313
[singing in Spanish]
638
00:28:08,953 --> 00:28:10,855
♪ Yes, yes, yes ♪
639
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,824
♪ Hoo, hoo, hoo ♪
640
00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:15,627
Pilar, thanks for doing this.
641
00:28:15,627 --> 00:28:17,262
[in English]
If he says no,
642
00:28:17,262 --> 00:28:19,297
I'm not
doing this anymore.
643
00:28:19,297 --> 00:28:21,799
I'm allergic,
and I don't like animals.
644
00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:23,902
I know. You've been amazing.
645
00:28:23,902 --> 00:28:25,937
Let's just hope this works.
646
00:28:25,937 --> 00:28:28,540
Oh, my God, that's him,
that's him. Okay.
647
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:29,741
Deep breaths.
648
00:28:29,741 --> 00:28:31,109
All right.
649
00:28:32,944 --> 00:28:34,279
Jord, Yuki's arrived.
650
00:28:34,279 --> 00:28:35,580
[unenthused]Great.
651
00:28:35,580 --> 00:28:36,615
[door opens]
652
00:28:36,615 --> 00:28:38,082
[Dzanielle]Hello!
653
00:28:38,082 --> 00:28:39,817
Welcome, welcome.
654
00:28:39,817 --> 00:28:41,519
Come on in.
655
00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:47,259
Hey. How are you?
Jordan.
656
00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:48,927
Make yourself comfortable.
657
00:28:48,993 --> 00:28:52,264
We invited your friend,
Monsieur Perignon.
658
00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:54,966
And we got some Kappo Masa.
659
00:28:54,966 --> 00:28:56,534
[precise diction]
This will do.
660
00:28:56,534 --> 00:28:57,835
-Jordan.-Yeah.
661
00:28:57,835 --> 00:28:59,337
-Yuki, have a seat.
-[Jordan] Yeah.
662
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:03,141
So, uh, what...
what can we tell you?
663
00:29:03,207 --> 00:29:06,278
First, the name of your dog.
664
00:29:06,278 --> 00:29:08,580
Oh, um, it's Natalay.
665
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:09,781
[Yuki] Hm.
666
00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:11,082
Curious.
667
00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:13,785
Traditionally,
I do not work with dogs
668
00:29:13,785 --> 00:29:15,787
that have human names.
669
00:29:15,787 --> 00:29:17,789
My clients are
670
00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:19,591
Fluffy Schwarzman,
671
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:21,826
Diamond LeFraque,
672
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:25,530
Batches Butter Astin.
673
00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:26,864
Things like that.
674
00:29:26,864 --> 00:29:28,467
Oh.
675
00:29:29,734 --> 00:29:33,204
If I were to call a dog's name
676
00:29:33,204 --> 00:29:36,708
and 15 human people turn around,
677
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:38,743
I hate that.
678
00:29:38,743 --> 00:29:40,779
I accepted Kevin Bacon's dog,
679
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,380
Francis, only because
680
00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:46,284
he promised me
he would reedit Mystic River
681
00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:50,188
so the ending... wasn't... so...
682
00:29:50,822 --> 00:29:52,524
depressing.
683
00:29:55,159 --> 00:29:58,663
Well, actually, Natalay
is my dead mother's name.
684
00:29:58,663 --> 00:30:00,699
I wanted to honor her memory.
685
00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:05,069
That is somewhat compelling.
686
00:30:05,069 --> 00:30:07,506
Deepest condolences.
687
00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:10,241
-May I see her?
-Of course.
688
00:30:10,241 --> 00:30:12,910
She's in a picture frame
on the Steinway.
689
00:30:12,910 --> 00:30:14,912
The dog.
690
00:30:14,912 --> 00:30:17,315
Oh. Pil... ar!
691
00:30:18,082 --> 00:30:19,651
[Pilar]
Moth... er!
692
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,720
[Jordan]
Ah, there she is.
693
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,556
[quietly]
Hi, Natalay!
694
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:27,859
[Natalay yelps]
695
00:30:29,093 --> 00:30:30,762
We will need some time.
696
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:32,697
Yeah, go for it.
697
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:34,766
Alone.
698
00:30:35,467 --> 00:30:37,902
Oh, you...
you mean we should leave?
699
00:30:37,902 --> 00:30:42,707
Yes, I will need
anywhere from ten minutes
700
00:30:42,707 --> 00:30:44,275
to seven hours.
701
00:30:44,275 --> 00:30:46,378
Okay, obviously.
Whatever you need.
702
00:30:46,378 --> 00:30:48,780
-Take all the time you need.
-[Jordan speaking indistinctly]
703
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,482
[Dzanielle]
Make yourself at home.
704
00:30:50,549 --> 00:30:53,818
We will be in the great room
should you need us.
705
00:30:53,818 --> 00:30:55,620
-[yapping]
-[Yuki] Mm.
706
00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:56,954
[Natalay yapping]
707
00:30:56,954 --> 00:30:58,723
[doors close]
708
00:31:00,859 --> 00:31:02,193
Take the strippers' pole!
709
00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:04,028
[Dakota] Um, no,
you have to do that.
710
00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:06,964
Oh, my God, what could he
possibly be doing in there?
711
00:31:06,964 --> 00:31:09,434
Jord, the man
is a legend, okay?
712
00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:12,070
He has a process.
You have to respect it.
713
00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:14,839
[soft laughter]
714
00:31:14,839 --> 00:31:16,808
[woman in video]
He's eating your dinner.
715
00:31:16,808 --> 00:31:18,610
[Yuki chuckles]
716
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:23,147
[Jared] Grab her loop.
You missed the first.
717
00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:24,516
[Dakota] Get the one
in the blue.
718
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:27,285
[Jordan] Babe,
he needs the job, okay?
719
00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:28,185
Not you.
720
00:31:28,252 --> 00:31:30,755
[video game sound effects]
721
00:31:37,762 --> 00:31:40,865
[deep inhale and exhale]
722
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:43,602
[Jordan] What are you,
the Dalai Lama now?
723
00:31:43,668 --> 00:31:46,237
Jord, this is the only way
I can calm down, all right?
724
00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:47,839
Maybe if you were
onboard with all this,
725
00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:49,240
I wouldn't be so stressed.
726
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,109
-I'm rudderless.
-Oh, rudderless?
727
00:31:51,109 --> 00:31:53,745
Maybe you're rudderless because
you're paying some schmuck
728
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,046
$1,500 to walk the dog.
729
00:31:55,046 --> 00:31:56,781
Which, by the way,
would have been nice
730
00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:59,283
if you gave me a little advance
warning and consulted me.
731
00:31:59,283 --> 00:32:02,954
Well, it would have been nice
if you had consulted me
before getting your dog walked.
732
00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:04,255
[Jordan, softly]
What the fuck?
733
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:05,957
-Why?
-[cell phone rings]
734
00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:07,492
I gotta get this.
735
00:32:07,492 --> 00:32:09,494
-Cary? What?
-[Jared] All right,
grab her loop.
736
00:32:09,494 --> 00:32:11,663
[Jordan] Kids!
Kids, shush your mouth!
737
00:32:11,729 --> 00:32:14,666
-Listen, hold on
one second. Hold on.
-[video game sounds]
738
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:18,002
No, don't go out there!
Don't go out there!
Natalay has sensory issues.
739
00:32:18,002 --> 00:32:19,571
Oh, come on, stop it.
740
00:32:19,571 --> 00:32:21,339
-Hey, hey, you hear me?
-[Cary] Jordan.
741
00:32:21,339 --> 00:32:23,007
-All right, where'd they land?
-We need you.
742
00:32:23,007 --> 00:32:25,242
They just finished
the merger terms.
743
00:32:25,242 --> 00:32:26,210
No!
744
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,013
So what you're saying is the
board approved the merger?
745
00:32:29,013 --> 00:32:32,049
First vote was split,
but then... yeah,
you totally sold 'em.
746
00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:33,985
Yes! Fuck, yes!
747
00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:35,153
Cary!
748
00:32:35,153 --> 00:32:37,656
Oh, my God!
That's amazing.
749
00:32:37,656 --> 00:32:40,825
Okay, okay, this is big.
750
00:32:40,825 --> 00:32:42,460
-This is big.
-You killed it.
751
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:44,395
[Jordan] This is so good.
This is so fucking good.
752
00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:46,164
Shares are about to go
through the roof.
753
00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:48,399
Paris Capitals board
is going to be ecstatic.
754
00:32:48,399 --> 00:32:50,568
[sharp coughing]
755
00:32:50,568 --> 00:32:52,370
Ohh! Oh, that's good.
756
00:32:52,370 --> 00:32:54,038
Oh, my God, there's cayenne
pepper in there.
757
00:32:54,038 --> 00:32:55,239
Don't tell
anyone until I get back.
758
00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:57,074
-[indistinct chatter]
-Yes!
759
00:32:57,074 --> 00:32:58,910
-[playful grunting]
-Dad! Dad!
760
00:32:58,910 --> 00:33:01,245
Come on, let's go.
Give it to me. Bam, bam.
761
00:33:01,245 --> 00:33:02,747
Come on, let's go, let's go.
762
00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:05,016
Give it to me... a third time.
763
00:33:05,082 --> 00:33:07,719
Are we still doing this?
Hello.
764
00:33:07,785 --> 00:33:08,987
What, am I a hologram?
765
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,722
I'm here, aren't I?
766
00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:12,323
In fact, I should be
celebrating
767
00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:15,193
the most important
moment of my entire career.
768
00:33:15,193 --> 00:33:16,828
Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
769
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:19,197
Congrats on your work
making money thing.
770
00:33:19,197 --> 00:33:21,700
I don't even know
what finance means.
771
00:33:26,804 --> 00:33:28,673
[phone chimes]
772
00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:37,481
[Natalay barking]
773
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:45,122
Hi. So, did we...
did we pass?
774
00:33:45,122 --> 00:33:47,759
May I please see
your leash collection.
775
00:33:47,825 --> 00:33:49,293
Of course. Pilar!
776
00:33:49,293 --> 00:33:52,830
Can we please show Mr. Yuki
the leash collection?
777
00:33:52,830 --> 00:33:54,198
[soft cough]
778
00:33:57,101 --> 00:33:58,536
I don't know
if you're on Instagram,
779
00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:01,239
but I kind of have
a lot of followers.
780
00:34:01,239 --> 00:34:06,044
My hairdresser
has 1.2 million followers.
781
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:07,812
No one cares.
782
00:34:08,846 --> 00:34:12,884
They're all designer
and monogrammed, as you'll see.
783
00:34:12,951 --> 00:34:15,453
I will call you
after my deliberations.
784
00:34:15,453 --> 00:34:17,254
[Dzanielle]
Yes. Of course.
785
00:34:17,254 --> 00:34:19,223
Deliberate as much
as you need to.
786
00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:20,992
Is this 12 Angry Men?
787
00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:23,695
Let us know when the jury's
reached a verdict.
788
00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:25,496
Domo arigato.
789
00:34:25,496 --> 00:34:28,099
Also, I should mention
I just signed a huge...
790
00:34:28,165 --> 00:34:31,002
Well, at least
if he deigns to gouge us
with his services,
791
00:34:31,002 --> 00:34:33,404
you won't have to walk
the dog anymore.
792
00:34:33,404 --> 00:34:34,906
[Pilar] Thank God.
793
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,373
Are you staying
the night?
794
00:34:36,373 --> 00:34:38,242
I could make up
the spare bedroom.
795
00:34:38,242 --> 00:34:40,011
[Dzanielle]
special dog food.
796
00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:42,146
It's all locavore, seed to anus.
797
00:34:42,213 --> 00:34:43,947
-It's only the best.
-Uh...
798
00:34:43,947 --> 00:34:45,449
You're the best.
799
00:34:45,449 --> 00:34:47,784
But no, I have a...
I have an early day tomorrow.
800
00:34:47,784 --> 00:34:49,120
Thank you, though.
801
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,156
Good night, Pilar.
Good night, kids!
802
00:34:52,156 --> 00:34:55,426
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
I just said domo arigato,
803
00:34:55,426 --> 00:34:58,229
and I now think
that might be Spanish.
804
00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:01,532
You're fine.
You did great.
805
00:35:01,532 --> 00:35:03,101
Really?
806
00:35:03,735 --> 00:35:05,236
Really.
807
00:35:05,870 --> 00:35:08,372
-All right, I'll see you.
-Thanks.
808
00:35:08,372 --> 00:35:10,307
Thanks for doing this, Jordan.
809
00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:16,280
[Dzanielle] Damn,
I wish I could go
to contortion school
810
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,750
so I could chow
my own box like that.
811
00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:20,718
Actually, ew, no.
812
00:35:25,423 --> 00:35:28,192
Yay! You're home.
813
00:35:30,194 --> 00:35:32,630
[normal voice]
Oh, hi, honey.
814
00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:38,402
Did you pick up
the Torx key for the crib?
815
00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:41,572
I picked up brackets
and Allen wrenches.
816
00:35:41,572 --> 00:35:45,276
The instructions
clearly say a Torx key.
817
00:35:45,342 --> 00:35:49,213
I mean, the dude said
Allen wrenches, so...
818
00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:52,516
Anyways, don't worry,
I-I-I'll get it built.
819
00:35:52,516 --> 00:35:54,118
Oh, shit. Right.
820
00:35:54,118 --> 00:35:56,387
I need to make that dog call.
821
00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:02,894
[line rings]
822
00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:04,628
[Dzanielle] Hello?
823
00:36:04,628 --> 00:36:07,598
[precise diction]
I am calling to inform you
824
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:11,435
that I will be taking on Natalay
as a new client.
825
00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:14,739
Thank you, thank you!
We will not let you down!
826
00:36:14,739 --> 00:36:18,275
But given the unfortunate name,
827
00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:22,613
there will be an increase
in the weekly payment
828
00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:26,450
to $2,000.
829
00:36:26,450 --> 00:36:28,586
[muted protest]
830
00:36:29,453 --> 00:36:32,423
Nothing is too good
for our Natalay.
831
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:36,060
[brightly, then subdued]
Excellent.
832
00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:38,262
Okay.
Thank you.
833
00:36:38,997 --> 00:36:41,432
We did it. We did it!
834
00:36:41,499 --> 00:36:43,868
We got Yuki!
835
00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:46,871
He said yes. We did it.
836
00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:48,172
We got him.
837
00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:51,042
Oh, and if Yuki
ever says anything,
838
00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:54,112
Nana Pearl is not alive
and well on Jupiter.
839
00:36:54,178 --> 00:36:57,148
She's dead,
and her name was Natalay.
840
00:36:57,982 --> 00:37:00,018
I can't believe you got
away with that.
841
00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:03,254
"Karen, I call it a squoval!"
842
00:37:04,321 --> 00:37:06,824
I mean, I can't believe
that we landed a whale
843
00:37:06,824 --> 00:37:09,660
from Chilmark
Olympus Point Capital.
844
00:37:09,660 --> 00:37:13,164
That stock is gonna shoot up
once that merger is announced.
845
00:37:13,164 --> 00:37:15,800
Chatter on some
message boards fits.
846
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,336
One estimate has it jumping
over 50% once they announce,
847
00:37:19,336 --> 00:37:21,572
probably in a couple of weeks.
848
00:37:21,572 --> 00:37:24,575
[typing]
I just... There.
849
00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:26,044
We could double our money.
850
00:37:26,044 --> 00:37:28,079
-Wow.
-So, that gets us a master's
851
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:30,915
in aerospace engineering
from Columbia.
852
00:37:31,715 --> 00:37:34,986
You're gonna get
the best education that money
853
00:37:34,986 --> 00:37:37,255
from the worst people can buy.
854
00:37:38,856 --> 00:37:41,392
[distant traffic flows]
855
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:51,235
[Dzanielle]
All right, love you guys.
856
00:37:51,235 --> 00:37:55,539
Don't stay up getting
brainwashed by China on TikTok.
857
00:37:55,539 --> 00:37:58,676
Pilar, I'm still
so giddy about today.
858
00:37:58,742 --> 00:38:00,578
Let's open this bottle of Dom.
859
00:38:00,578 --> 00:38:02,746
You want to stay and have
some bubbles with me?
860
00:38:02,746 --> 00:38:06,984
Thank you, Miss Dzanielle,
but I must get home to Miguel.
861
00:38:06,984 --> 00:38:09,954
He made his special papadzules.
862
00:38:09,954 --> 00:38:11,655
Enjoy Dom.
863
00:38:11,655 --> 00:38:13,591
Aah.
864
00:38:13,591 --> 00:38:15,093
Maybe call a friend.
865
00:38:15,093 --> 00:38:17,761
Good night.
Thank you.
866
00:38:20,698 --> 00:38:22,233
[door closes]
867
00:38:38,850 --> 00:38:41,552
[Dzanielle] Oh.
A million followers.
868
00:38:41,552 --> 00:38:44,421
It doesn't pack the punch
I thought it would.
869
00:38:44,421 --> 00:38:47,959
I feel like I got shot
out of a camel's asshole.
870
00:38:47,959 --> 00:38:49,593
I miss talking to him.
871
00:38:49,593 --> 00:38:53,464
I miss telling him about my day
and hearing about his.
872
00:38:53,464 --> 00:38:56,700
I mean, you think you'd be sick
of it after all these years,
873
00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:58,702
but I never was.
874
00:38:58,702 --> 00:39:02,640
God, it's a really nice ring.
Stephanie Gottlieb.
875
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,909
Maybe I can wear it
on my right hand.
876
00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:09,380
It seems silly
to keep it locked away
in a drawer, collecting dust.
877
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:15,853
[phone chimes]
878
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:19,090
Danni! Yo, sis, I miss you.
879
00:39:19,090 --> 00:39:22,260
I... I'm just back
from Hot Lotty's.
880
00:39:22,260 --> 00:39:25,429
I saw that post
you did about the facial
881
00:39:25,429 --> 00:39:28,532
with the stem cells
from the baby dick tops.
882
00:39:28,599 --> 00:39:32,536
-How are you doing?
-I'm a little down tonight.
883
00:39:32,536 --> 00:39:35,106
I miss you, and...
884
00:39:36,107 --> 00:39:37,808
I miss Jordan.
885
00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:41,279
[sharp sigh]
Aw, honey, I get it.
886
00:39:41,279 --> 00:39:43,881
It's all part of the journey.
887
00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:48,085
I just wonder if maybe...
maybe I overreacted.
888
00:39:48,085 --> 00:39:50,688
But Jordie knew
that I would never
889
00:39:50,688 --> 00:39:54,992
put up with being
that humiliated first wife
from Wolf of Wall Street.
890
00:39:54,992 --> 00:39:58,662
Look, you did what you did,
what's done is done.
891
00:39:58,662 --> 00:40:00,131
Move on.
892
00:40:00,131 --> 00:40:03,034
That's what I always say.
Never look back.
893
00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,303
Okay. Um...
894
00:40:05,303 --> 00:40:09,573
I just got hit with,
like, a tsunami of
exhaustion, so I'm gonna...
895
00:40:09,573 --> 00:40:11,075
I'll call you tomorrow.
896
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,544
Mwah. Love you.
897
00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:16,147
-Love you.
-Love you.
898
00:40:18,682 --> 00:40:20,284
[sighs]
899
00:40:20,284 --> 00:40:23,120
In other local news,
a new high-end soup kitchen
900
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,157
has opened on Fifth Avenue,
serving only
901
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:30,061
low-calorie, low-sodium
miso soup to unhoused people
902
00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:32,230
who are battling
high cholesterol.
903
00:40:32,296 --> 00:40:34,131
[Dzanielle] The next day,
I decided to reboot
904
00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:36,533
by improving my mind
with the news
905
00:40:36,533 --> 00:40:39,237
and my mindset
with some self-care.
906
00:40:39,303 --> 00:40:41,339
Maybe Kim is right
about moving on.
907
00:40:41,339 --> 00:40:45,843
Maybe I do need someone new,
just not the kind with a dick.
908
00:40:46,710 --> 00:40:49,613
Hey, Siri, call Blagdanorova.
909
00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:53,650
I went to see Evita
when I was 8, and I knew
I'd move here when I grew up
910
00:40:53,650 --> 00:40:55,619
and never go back to the 516.
911
00:40:55,619 --> 00:40:57,554
Do you have any family here?
912
00:40:58,689 --> 00:41:01,892
[strong Latvian accent]
I am youngest of seven sister.
913
00:41:01,892 --> 00:41:05,196
I am ugliest.
But luckily, I was best dancer.
914
00:41:05,263 --> 00:41:09,000
They stuck there.
Not even in Riga.
915
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,669
Kohadesburg.
Like red state of Latvia.
916
00:41:12,669 --> 00:41:15,172
Well, you are the most gorge,
917
00:41:15,172 --> 00:41:18,909
and I will pay someone
to Tonya Harding the kneecaps
918
00:41:18,909 --> 00:41:20,944
of anyone
who tells you otherwise.
919
00:41:20,944 --> 00:41:25,316
[mocking accent]
My first house was like
hole inside of cliff.
920
00:41:25,383 --> 00:41:27,618
[snickering]
921
00:41:27,618 --> 00:41:31,122
And, Amy, your first husband
was in a jam band,
922
00:41:31,122 --> 00:41:34,658
and your first Hamptons
house was in Quahog,
923
00:41:34,658 --> 00:41:36,894
which isn't the Hamptons.
924
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,862
[soft chuckle]
925
00:41:38,862 --> 00:41:40,831
Incorrect.
926
00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:42,233
It was West Hampton.
927
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:46,437
[speaking native language]
928
00:41:54,545 --> 00:41:57,781
Hello, little baby.
Hello, monkey baby.
929
00:41:57,781 --> 00:42:00,251
[giddy laughter]
930
00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:04,555
Dogs. They can't resist
the taste of dirt and regret.
[chuckles]
931
00:42:04,555 --> 00:42:06,824
-What theory?
-Oh.
932
00:42:06,890 --> 00:42:09,226
Must have got
an extra by accident.
933
00:42:09,293 --> 00:42:11,495
-You wouldn't want it...?
-Give it to me!
934
00:42:11,495 --> 00:42:14,498
Thank you so much.
That is so kind of...
935
00:42:14,498 --> 00:42:17,535
Mmm! Ah, Smoothies.
936
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:21,505
One of the great
pleasures of life,
that and a standing O.
937
00:42:21,505 --> 00:42:23,307
And, uh... and blow.
938
00:42:24,108 --> 00:42:28,579
And a blowjob.
Those were the days.
939
00:42:28,579 --> 00:42:29,947
[light chuckles]
940
00:42:29,947 --> 00:42:34,151
How long have you been,
um, unhoused?
941
00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:36,487
Well,
942
00:42:36,487 --> 00:42:38,189
after the band broke up,
I had a little incident.
943
00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:41,325
I may have drunkenly staggered
in front of a Segway.
944
00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:44,395
Medical bills up the ass.
And I cheated on my ex.
945
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:48,432
She kicked me out.
I ended up couch surfing
for a while, looking for gigs.
946
00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:51,768
No luck. That's how I ended up
at La Casa del Gary.
947
00:42:53,070 --> 00:42:56,207
Oh, my God, this is incredible.
948
00:42:56,874 --> 00:42:59,243
What the fuck is in here?
It's great.
949
00:42:59,243 --> 00:43:02,346
[Dzanielle] Today is
all about party prep.
950
00:43:02,346 --> 00:43:05,883
The b'nai mitzvah
was in two weeks,
and I was so stressed out,
951
00:43:05,883 --> 00:43:09,587
I still had to confirm
the blueprints from
the balloon architects.
952
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:14,191
I had to get the cards
to the calligrapher
and make sure Jared and Dakota's
953
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:17,461
dvar torahs
were in tip-top shape.
954
00:43:17,461 --> 00:43:20,431
I really want to invite Blag
and her husband.
955
00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:23,501
Making adult friends IRL
is so hard.
956
00:43:23,501 --> 00:43:26,237
Normally you just like their
posts and they like yours,
957
00:43:26,303 --> 00:43:28,539
and you don't really
know each other.
958
00:43:28,539 --> 00:43:30,841
Maybe I'll see if she
wants to have a drink.
959
00:43:30,841 --> 00:43:33,911
She's so nice,
like Dakota and Jared.
960
00:43:33,911 --> 00:43:35,579
You know, they're so sweet.
961
00:43:35,579 --> 00:43:38,048
That's why candy is
the perfect theme for them.
962
00:43:38,048 --> 00:43:42,886
Unlike their little
shit classmate Riley,
whose theme was haute couture.
963
00:43:42,886 --> 00:43:45,623
All the tables
were called Gucci, Chanel.
964
00:43:45,689 --> 00:43:49,560
I was seated
over at Viktor and Rolf...
essentially Siberia.
965
00:43:55,098 --> 00:43:59,903
Hi, Connor. I just decided
to pop over because I wanted
to bring this to Mrs. Hammerman.
966
00:43:59,903 --> 00:44:03,407
I don't believe anyone has ever
"popped over" to us here.
967
00:44:03,407 --> 00:44:06,210
The Hammermans
prize their privacy.
968
00:44:06,210 --> 00:44:08,412
Oh, no.
Yeah, I totally get that.
969
00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:10,581
I suppose there's
a first time for everything.
970
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:13,384
Why don't we give
her assistant a ring?
971
00:44:20,558 --> 00:44:23,026
A thousand apologies
for calling at this hour,
972
00:44:23,026 --> 00:44:25,862
but an acquaintance
of Ms. Hammerman's has...
973
00:44:25,862 --> 00:44:28,865
[meaningful pause]
"popped over."
974
00:44:28,865 --> 00:44:31,168
No, never heard of it either.
975
00:44:31,168 --> 00:44:34,238
-Her name is, uh...
-Oh, Dzanielle.
976
00:44:34,238 --> 00:44:36,707
[Connor] Ms. Dzanielle,
977
00:44:36,707 --> 00:44:40,110
and she has a bottle
of mid-range champagne.
978
00:44:40,110 --> 00:44:42,112
So be it, then.
979
00:44:42,112 --> 00:44:43,814
[phone clatters]
980
00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,388
You may...
981
00:44:51,922 --> 00:44:53,624
come in.
982
00:44:53,624 --> 00:44:55,626
[Dzanielle chuckles softly]
983
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,030
[strong Latvian accent]
Ohh! I'm so glad you came.
984
00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:01,665
Mwah! Mwah!
985
00:45:01,665 --> 00:45:03,867
You have to meet Tess.
986
00:45:03,867 --> 00:45:05,802
She my left arm.
[chuckles]
987
00:45:05,802 --> 00:45:10,307
When she leave
for the weekend, I feel sick.
It get lonely here sometime.
988
00:45:10,374 --> 00:45:12,876
Uh, do you want for some nibble?
989
00:45:12,876 --> 00:45:16,280
I have caviar dealer
from Little Odessa.
990
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,182
Oh, I am a total Roe Ho,
to be honest.
991
00:45:19,250 --> 00:45:21,151
I mean, I could probably
eat human flesh
992
00:45:21,151 --> 00:45:24,288
if it came with blini
and creme fraiche and chives.
993
00:45:24,288 --> 00:45:27,024
Can I offer you a chilled
rosemary-steeped towel?
994
00:45:27,024 --> 00:45:29,693
Oh. Uh... I'm okay.
995
00:45:29,693 --> 00:45:31,562
[door opens softly]
996
00:45:38,201 --> 00:45:40,404
[whispering] Dakota.
997
00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:44,441
-Wake up.
-Leave me alone.
998
00:45:44,441 --> 00:45:48,546
Do you think mom would ever date
Gary if he wasn't homeless?
999
00:45:50,013 --> 00:45:52,283
Not in a million years.
1000
00:45:53,651 --> 00:45:56,153
Why not?
She likes funny guys.
1001
00:45:56,153 --> 00:45:58,789
She's still in love with Dad,
dummy.
1002
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:03,294
She's not. They're always
mad at each other.
1003
00:46:03,994 --> 00:46:05,629
You don't understand women.
1004
00:46:09,567 --> 00:46:11,234
Do you think he's happy?
1005
00:46:12,202 --> 00:46:14,605
-Dad?-Gary.
1006
00:46:15,406 --> 00:46:17,974
How could he possibly be happy?
1007
00:46:18,742 --> 00:46:22,279
Well, he doesn't have
to go to school or a job.
1008
00:46:22,279 --> 00:46:23,880
He can do whatever he wants.
1009
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:25,783
You really
don't understand guys.
1010
00:46:25,783 --> 00:46:30,220
I'm pretty sure always
having to ask people
for money makes you sad.
1011
00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:33,424
How? We ask Mom
for money all the time.
1012
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:35,659
And she gives it to us.
1013
00:46:35,659 --> 00:46:38,362
Imagine if we said,
"Hey, Mom, can I have a dollar?"
1014
00:46:38,362 --> 00:46:41,398
And she just walked away
like she didn't know us.
1015
00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,436
We should help him.
1016
00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:50,107
-How?
-All he has is his box, right?
1017
00:46:50,173 --> 00:46:52,810
So he needs
all the other things.
1018
00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:55,813
What do we have?
1019
00:46:59,916 --> 00:47:02,185
All the toys.
1020
00:47:02,185 --> 00:47:05,021
Oh, what about my old
Harry Potter scarf here?
1021
00:47:05,021 --> 00:47:10,193
Yeah. He... He's old, right?
He probably doesn't care
that JK's a TERF.
1022
00:47:10,193 --> 00:47:11,495
Hmm.
1023
00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:12,863
Uh...
1024
00:47:12,863 --> 00:47:14,565
[objects clattering]
1025
00:47:14,632 --> 00:47:16,299
Old slime?
1026
00:47:17,801 --> 00:47:20,170
Sensory entertainment's
important.
1027
00:47:21,004 --> 00:47:23,407
Oh, there's a ton
of leftover sushi!
1028
00:47:23,407 --> 00:47:25,876
Right! That'll last him,
like, two weeks.
1029
00:47:25,876 --> 00:47:29,813
I bet it's one of those things
that Mom says gets better
with age, like wine.
1030
00:47:31,248 --> 00:47:33,651
So you're stylish.
1031
00:47:33,651 --> 00:47:35,118
Funny.
1032
00:47:35,118 --> 00:47:38,822
You talk lot. You walk lot.
You very busy.
1033
00:47:38,822 --> 00:47:40,924
You do all these thing.
1034
00:47:40,924 --> 00:47:43,293
You take a picture,
you pose.
1035
00:47:43,293 --> 00:47:45,663
Really,
why you do all this?
1036
00:47:45,729 --> 00:47:50,734
My family split up,
and it's been rocky.
I'm not gonna lie.
1037
00:47:50,734 --> 00:47:53,103
You're hurting for Jordan?
1038
00:47:53,937 --> 00:47:55,406
Sometimes.
1039
00:47:55,406 --> 00:47:57,474
But, you know, I'm good
at compartmentalizing,
1040
00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:00,611
so it'll enter my brain,
and then I just shake
that Etch A Sketch,
1041
00:48:00,611 --> 00:48:03,781
flush it out, and I think
of the positive stuff.
1042
00:48:03,781 --> 00:48:05,282
I'm hashtag-blessed, you know?
1043
00:48:05,348 --> 00:48:09,286
I always tell my followers
you have to focus on
1044
00:48:09,286 --> 00:48:12,088
gratitude and manifesting joy.
1045
00:48:12,088 --> 00:48:15,091
This sound wonderful.
You love your kid.
1046
00:48:15,091 --> 00:48:18,028
Oh, yeah.
My kids are my life.
1047
00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:22,032
Jared and Dakota are...
they're my babies.
1048
00:48:22,032 --> 00:48:24,067
I would do anything for them.
1049
00:48:24,067 --> 00:48:25,903
You crack it wide open.
1050
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:28,605
Oh, see, this is like...
1051
00:48:29,506 --> 00:48:33,844
you understand this...
this goodness, right?
1052
00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:38,615
I love Morty very much.
1053
00:48:39,483 --> 00:48:41,384
Though he very good...
1054
00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:45,456
But I could have married
many very rich men.
1055
00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:49,092
But I chose Morty
for setup because...
1056
00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:53,063
He have big heart.
1057
00:48:53,129 --> 00:48:55,999
Yeah. You mentioned the,
uh, cardiac distension.
1058
00:48:55,999 --> 00:48:58,502
-It's unhealthily engorged.
-That too, doctor say.
1059
00:48:58,502 --> 00:49:01,705
But, no, I mean, for heart,
for giving.
1060
00:49:01,705 --> 00:49:05,308
Very, very generous and kind.
1061
00:49:07,177 --> 00:49:10,313
[sighs] Always giving money,
1062
00:49:10,313 --> 00:49:14,150
investing in people
for scholarship.
1063
00:49:14,718 --> 00:49:16,587
Food bank.
1064
00:49:17,755 --> 00:49:19,189
This is why.
1065
00:49:19,990 --> 00:49:22,259
This is why I love him.
1066
00:49:22,926 --> 00:49:26,797
But...
soon he will be gone, and...
1067
00:49:27,831 --> 00:49:30,267
I will be even more alone.
1068
00:49:32,402 --> 00:49:35,539
Look, you're not gonna be alone
because I'm in your life now,
1069
00:49:35,539 --> 00:49:38,441
and I'm like
herpes and political emails.
1070
00:49:38,509 --> 00:49:40,243
You're never
gonna get rid of me.
1071
00:49:40,243 --> 00:49:42,479
[laughs]
Oh, it's so true!
1072
00:50:00,864 --> 00:50:03,534
-Everything okay, kids?
-[cheerfully] You know it, Mike!
1073
00:50:03,534 --> 00:50:07,170
Just going for
a little stroll. See ya.
1074
00:50:07,170 --> 00:50:11,508
Little stroll with a wagon
full of HomeGoods
1075
00:50:11,575 --> 00:50:13,677
and in your jammies?
1076
00:50:14,411 --> 00:50:16,947
Don't worry,
we'll be right back.
1077
00:50:16,947 --> 00:50:18,615
Hmm.
1078
00:50:22,986 --> 00:50:25,522
-Mmm.
-For you, Mike.
1079
00:50:27,057 --> 00:50:29,492
For your many years
of dedicated service.
1080
00:50:29,492 --> 00:50:30,627
[Jared] Mm.
1081
00:50:32,195 --> 00:50:34,331
And to not tell our mom.
1082
00:50:34,331 --> 00:50:37,400
Just going across the street.
You know Gary.
1083
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,236
Dropping some food and stuff
off for him.
1084
00:50:40,236 --> 00:50:41,538
It'll take two seconds.
1085
00:50:41,538 --> 00:50:43,974
[Mike]
I'm not taking any of these 20s.
1086
00:50:43,974 --> 00:50:47,210
It's nice of you kids.
I'm coming with you.
1087
00:50:47,210 --> 00:50:49,212
Don't ever tell your parents.
1088
00:50:50,180 --> 00:50:53,350
Thank you, Mike.
You the man.
1089
00:51:22,946 --> 00:51:25,248
[Dakota] "Dear Gary,
sorry you're unhoused.
1090
00:51:25,248 --> 00:51:27,417
We thought you could use
some food and other stuff.
1091
00:51:27,417 --> 00:51:30,220
Your friends,
Dakota and Jared."
1092
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:48,338
[Dakota sings haltingly
in Hebrew]
1093
00:51:52,175 --> 00:51:54,277
[Dzanielle]
Five minutes, angels.
1094
00:51:54,277 --> 00:51:58,348
Hey, Mom. How come
we don't have any poor friends?
1095
00:51:58,415 --> 00:52:00,918
Okay. I know you like Gary,
1096
00:52:00,918 --> 00:52:04,220
and I know you snuck out
to see him last night.
1097
00:52:04,220 --> 00:52:07,490
And while I appreciate
the gesture,
1098
00:52:07,557 --> 00:52:11,728
if you ever do that again,
you'll be grounded till prom.
1099
00:52:12,529 --> 00:52:13,997
Pilar!
1100
00:52:13,997 --> 00:52:15,899
Can you make sure
that Natalay finishes
1101
00:52:15,966 --> 00:52:17,300
all that wheatgrass juice?
1102
00:52:17,367 --> 00:52:20,570
We need to make sure
that she sprays diarrhea
1103
00:52:20,570 --> 00:52:22,505
before Yuki arrives.
1104
00:52:23,573 --> 00:52:25,375
[soft whimper]
1105
00:52:26,910 --> 00:52:29,079
Your mama,
1106
00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:32,749
she wants you
to be safe, children.
1107
00:52:32,749 --> 00:52:34,284
Hmm?
1108
00:52:34,284 --> 00:52:38,254
But I could tell
she was proud of you.
1109
00:52:38,254 --> 00:52:41,257
But don't do this again, eh?
1110
00:52:41,257 --> 00:52:43,994
-But, Pilar...
-[Pilar] Mm.
1111
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:46,763
isn't it wrong for
some people to have so much
1112
00:52:46,830 --> 00:52:49,132
when others don't have anything?
1113
00:52:49,132 --> 00:52:53,036
Ay, mia.
You should get to school.
1114
00:52:53,036 --> 00:52:54,938
Okay?
Have a good day.
1115
00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:56,439
Let's go. Come on!
1116
00:52:57,674 --> 00:52:59,109
Come on. Buh-bye.
1117
00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:01,778
Vamonos a la escuela.
1118
00:53:01,778 --> 00:53:03,780
Rapido.
1119
00:53:05,415 --> 00:53:06,750
Look at this.
1120
00:53:06,750 --> 00:53:09,753
"The Jewish perspective
on poverty is best described
1121
00:53:09,753 --> 00:53:12,856
by a single word
of Hebrew text...
1122
00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:14,624
Achi-ha."
1123
00:53:14,624 --> 00:53:17,995
"Through this word, the Torah
insists that we view the poor
1124
00:53:17,995 --> 00:53:20,230
as no different from ourselves.
1125
00:53:20,230 --> 00:53:23,566
Maybe we should do
something good with
our b'nai mitzvah money.
1126
00:53:23,566 --> 00:53:26,036
Yes, right after we get
new sneakers.
1127
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,505
I already have six pairs
of Golden Gooses.
1128
00:53:29,139 --> 00:53:31,775
Wouldn't that
make it Golden Geese?
1129
00:53:32,743 --> 00:53:34,344
I honestly don't know.
1130
00:53:34,344 --> 00:53:37,514
-A la escuela!
Vamonos, vamonos!
-[Natalay yaps]
1131
00:53:37,580 --> 00:53:39,315
[doorbell rings]
1132
00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:42,418
[precise diction]
It is time.
1133
00:53:43,020 --> 00:53:45,421
[Natalay yaps]
1134
00:53:46,757 --> 00:53:49,159
[Dzanielle]
I couldn't stop thinking
about how my kids
1135
00:53:49,159 --> 00:53:51,094
wanted to help Gary,
1136
00:53:51,094 --> 00:53:52,796
and all my friends have
their charities
1137
00:53:52,796 --> 00:53:55,298
that they use
to help in some way.
1138
00:53:55,298 --> 00:53:59,069
I realized it's time to use
my platform for good.
1139
00:53:59,136 --> 00:54:02,873
Over a million followers
isn't exactly chump change,
1140
00:54:02,873 --> 00:54:05,208
even if Yuki's
hairdresser has more.
1141
00:54:05,208 --> 00:54:09,512
And Blag said she
wanted to get more
involved in charity work.
1142
00:54:10,981 --> 00:54:14,017
So we decided to start our own.
1143
00:54:15,652 --> 00:54:18,655
If you're gonna start a charity,
you want to do something
that's never been done before.
1144
00:54:18,655 --> 00:54:22,458
-[Blag] So we helping people.
-[Dzanielle] Yeah.
1145
00:54:22,458 --> 00:54:25,896
-[Blag] I love helping people.
-[Dzanielle] Totally.
1146
00:54:25,962 --> 00:54:28,331
How 'bout seeking
a cure for Ozempic sharts?
1147
00:54:28,331 --> 00:54:31,634
-It's a problem.
-[Blag] Ahh... no.
1148
00:54:31,701 --> 00:54:34,537
Maybe we should
come up with something
like, more high profile.
1149
00:54:34,537 --> 00:54:38,008
-[instructor]
Absolutely killing it, ladies.
-What is this, high profile?
1150
00:54:38,008 --> 00:54:41,644
I want you to think
that somebody lined
your taint with razor blades,
1151
00:54:41,644 --> 00:54:43,880
and the mat is lined with pubes.
1152
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:47,284
Shave the mat
with your taint razor.
1153
00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:49,385
-Yes!
-She very good.
1154
00:54:49,385 --> 00:54:53,323
Replace Confederate statues
with Manolo Blahnik pop-ups.
1155
00:54:53,323 --> 00:54:56,126
-I don't know this Confederate...
-Climate change.
1156
00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:59,796
I mean, hello, there's
so many hundred-degree days.
1157
00:54:59,796 --> 00:55:01,865
My hair is frizzing
to Staten Island.
1158
00:55:01,865 --> 00:55:06,402
Maybe there is something
more with fashion.
1159
00:55:07,537 --> 00:55:10,073
[bells ring gently]
1160
00:55:10,073 --> 00:55:13,944
What about an advocacy
group for more Sawgrass?
1161
00:55:13,944 --> 00:55:17,314
-Is this big problem, isn't it?
-Oh, horrific.
1162
00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:19,449
What about Uber for colonics?
1163
00:55:19,449 --> 00:55:22,119
[Blag]
It would leak out while driving.
1164
00:55:22,119 --> 00:55:24,988
Why everybody love
this orchid painting?
1165
00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:27,357
I hear they all vagina.
1166
00:55:27,423 --> 00:55:30,493
I've always called her
Georgia O'Queef.
1167
00:55:30,493 --> 00:55:33,830
Maybe art school
to teach people to paint better.
1168
00:55:33,830 --> 00:55:35,498
They have those already.
1169
00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:39,102
What about hair
transplants for the needy bald?
1170
00:55:39,102 --> 00:55:41,838
[Blag] Morty
already sponsored this.
1171
00:55:41,838 --> 00:55:45,075
All right, brainstorming.
Let's pivot.
1172
00:55:45,075 --> 00:55:47,244
What's, like,
a really common affliction?
1173
00:55:47,244 --> 00:55:50,513
Oh, what about a museum
for eating disorders?
1174
00:55:55,118 --> 00:55:56,953
Maybe we switch to shots.
1175
00:55:56,953 --> 00:55:58,989
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
1176
00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:02,392
♪ You know
I'll always be a freak ♪
1177
00:56:02,392 --> 00:56:05,695
♪ It's just the language
that I speak ♪
1178
00:56:05,695 --> 00:56:10,000
♪ Don't want the things you see
every day of the week ♪
1179
00:56:10,033 --> 00:56:13,036
[both]
♪ I'll always be your freak ♪
1180
00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:16,339
Ah, excuse me. I... eh...
1181
00:56:16,339 --> 00:56:19,242
Just... How do you
know that song?
1182
00:56:19,242 --> 00:56:23,280
Oh, when I was young,
I loved indie rock.
1183
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,614
Oh.
1184
00:56:24,614 --> 00:56:27,850
That's... That's crazy,
'cause, um...
1185
00:56:27,918 --> 00:56:30,020
that was... That was my band.
1186
00:56:30,086 --> 00:56:33,123
Shut the fuck up!
You're lying.
1187
00:56:33,123 --> 00:56:35,058
-No.
-You're the lead singer
1188
00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:37,961
-of Princes of the Paleolithic.
-...Paleolithic.
1189
00:56:37,961 --> 00:56:40,130
Teen me
would have shimmied
1190
00:56:40,130 --> 00:56:42,365
into that box and blown you.
1191
00:56:42,432 --> 00:56:45,368
-You have an amazing voice.
-Well, thanks.
1192
00:56:45,368 --> 00:56:48,205
I used to.
That was in the before time.
1193
00:56:48,205 --> 00:56:51,541
Now I'm just a shadow
of my former baritoniness.
1194
00:56:51,541 --> 00:56:54,177
-Drugs.
-Straight LSD.
1195
00:56:55,445 --> 00:56:59,082
Well, I love New York. There's
so much talent on every corner.
1196
00:56:59,082 --> 00:57:03,019
Well, in your case,
literally. But, uh...
1197
00:57:03,019 --> 00:57:05,121
have a good day.
1198
00:57:05,121 --> 00:57:07,457
The, um,
the blowjob thing, though...
1199
00:57:07,457 --> 00:57:09,359
[line rings]
1200
00:57:09,359 --> 00:57:10,827
Blaggie!
1201
00:57:10,827 --> 00:57:12,829
Oh M God.
1202
00:57:12,862 --> 00:57:14,697
♪ Light bulb emoji ♪
1203
00:57:14,764 --> 00:57:16,967
I just had an idea
for a charity.
1204
00:57:17,033 --> 00:57:19,769
[cell phone rings]
1205
00:57:23,506 --> 00:57:25,141
Hey. Hey, Dzanielle.
1206
00:57:25,208 --> 00:57:28,345
Cary, you preppy
reversible-named little shit.
1207
00:57:28,345 --> 00:57:31,848
Tell Jordan to call me.
I need to know what finance is.
1208
00:57:31,848 --> 00:57:34,117
I will be sure to give him
the message.
1209
00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:35,585
[cheerfully]
Fuck off, Cary!
1210
00:57:35,585 --> 00:57:38,088
[Blag] Jordan is so helpful
and handsome.
1211
00:57:38,088 --> 00:57:39,555
You think you'll be
with him again?
1212
00:57:39,555 --> 00:57:41,258
[Dzanielle] And of course
I thought about it.
1213
00:57:41,258 --> 00:57:43,826
I knew he was getting jerky
from not banging box,
1214
00:57:43,826 --> 00:57:46,296
but, like...
it still wounded me.
1215
00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:48,731
He doesn't get to tell me
when to heal.
1216
00:57:48,798 --> 00:57:49,966
Right?
1217
00:57:49,966 --> 00:57:52,602
Men always think
they know best.
1218
00:57:52,668 --> 00:57:55,605
[deep sigh]
1219
00:57:55,605 --> 00:57:59,009
My husband, he was
telling me to quit here.
1220
00:57:59,009 --> 00:58:02,412
-Ah.
-And I constantly
have to remind him...
1221
00:58:02,412 --> 00:58:05,948
"I will tell you when
I'm a-ready to quit."
1222
00:58:05,948 --> 00:58:08,318
Exactly. Good for you.
1223
00:58:08,385 --> 00:58:10,820
What does your husband do,
Karen?
1224
00:58:10,820 --> 00:58:12,455
[bell on door jingles]
1225
00:58:12,455 --> 00:58:14,524
Get on the ground.
On the ground!
1226
00:58:14,590 --> 00:58:16,259
Okay, little rich bitches.
1227
00:58:16,259 --> 00:58:18,128
-This is exactly
what you think it is.
-[all screaming]
1228
00:58:18,128 --> 00:58:20,663
I want all of your jewels,
your iPhones, your wallets.
1229
00:58:20,730 --> 00:58:23,166
I want you to put them
in the bag. Let's go,
in the bag.
1230
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:24,700
Everything.
That thing too. What is that?
1231
00:58:24,700 --> 00:58:26,536
What is that? Just fucking
put it in the bag. Okay.
1232
00:58:26,536 --> 00:58:28,838
Let's go. iPhone. iPhone,
please. Thank you.
1233
00:58:28,838 --> 00:58:31,341
Really, lady, you think
I don't see that ice rink
on your finger?
1234
00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:34,411
Come on, Tara Lipinski
could do a fucking triple
Salchow on that shit.
1235
00:58:34,411 --> 00:58:37,747
-Put it in the bag. Let's go.
-My Morty gave me this ring.
1236
00:58:37,747 --> 00:58:41,818
"Morty gave me these rings."
I don't give a shit! Just put it
in the bag. Hurry up!
1237
00:58:41,884 --> 00:58:44,254
Whenever you're ready, lady.
Come on.
1238
00:58:44,254 --> 00:58:46,056
Thank you. Thank. Oh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1239
00:58:46,056 --> 00:58:48,325
Where are you going? Let's go.
Come back, come back.
1240
00:58:48,391 --> 00:58:51,027
-Come back, join the party.
-She's pregnant. She's scared.
1241
00:58:51,027 --> 00:58:53,196
-You're scaring her.
-Okay, well, if you cooperate,
1242
00:58:53,263 --> 00:58:55,898
she'll be fine, okay?
And you.
1243
00:58:55,965 --> 00:58:59,069
I see that ring. Take it off.
Put it in the bag. Let's go.
1244
00:58:59,069 --> 00:59:00,337
Why are you doing this?
1245
00:59:00,337 --> 00:59:03,039
-Do you really want to know?
-Yeah.
1246
00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:06,242
I used to be a plastic surgeon,
okay? Right up here.
1247
00:59:06,242 --> 00:59:10,246
Right up here. Park Avenue.
Park Avenue, bitches!
1248
00:59:10,246 --> 00:59:12,449
I used to have
a thriving practice.
1249
00:59:12,449 --> 00:59:14,451
Faces, tummies, titties.
I did it all.
1250
00:59:14,451 --> 00:59:17,587
Didn't I do a consult with you
for my boob job?
1251
00:59:19,456 --> 00:59:20,857
Ah. Dr. Oren?
1252
00:59:20,923 --> 00:59:24,160
-Yes!
-Shoulda come to me. Anyway.
1253
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,029
One botched facelift.
"Botched"!
1254
00:59:27,029 --> 00:59:29,966
I mean, you can still
kind of recognize her.
1255
00:59:29,966 --> 00:59:32,034
Decides to sue me
for malpractice.
1256
00:59:32,034 --> 00:59:34,471
-And here I am.
-[all shrieking]
1257
00:59:34,471 --> 00:59:37,407
All right, shut up. I got
to get to Zihuatanejo ASAP.
1258
00:59:37,474 --> 00:59:39,775
[Dzanielle] So, like,
all the fugitives go there?
1259
00:59:39,775 --> 00:59:43,646
Oh, my God,
you sound just like my ex-wife.
It's cliched for a reason, lady.
1260
00:59:43,646 --> 00:59:46,449
I don't need
to explain this shit to you.
Just fucking come on.
1261
00:59:46,449 --> 00:59:48,784
Let's go. Put in here!
Come on, put it in. Ooh! Birkin.
1262
00:59:48,851 --> 00:59:52,155
Can I have the Birkin?
Why am I asking you?
Give me the fucking Birkin.
1263
00:59:52,222 --> 00:59:54,924
-You beggar!
-Gah! You don't have to be
so aggressive.
1264
00:59:54,924 --> 00:59:58,128
If anyone tries
to call the police,
1265
00:59:58,128 --> 01:00:00,830
I will burn this place
to the fucking ground.
1266
01:00:00,830 --> 01:00:03,866
Oh, can you help me
put this back on?
1267
01:00:03,866 --> 01:00:06,002
Can you do it?
So... yeah, so I can see...
1268
01:00:06,002 --> 01:00:07,437
-[whimpering] Is that okay?
-Yeah, that's better.
1269
01:00:07,504 --> 01:00:10,072
Okay. Congratulations.
So sweet. Mazel tov.
1270
01:00:10,072 --> 01:00:11,941
See you guys.
1271
01:00:12,008 --> 01:00:15,145
Oh, my God, you poor thing.
Are you okay?
1272
01:00:15,945 --> 01:00:18,615
-Are you okay?
-[indistinct chatter]
1273
01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:21,884
[screaming]
1274
01:00:21,951 --> 01:00:24,020
[water splashes]
1275
01:00:24,020 --> 01:00:25,388
Oh, my God.
1276
01:00:26,122 --> 01:00:28,324
You're having this baby today.
1277
01:00:28,324 --> 01:00:30,693
No, no, no, it's... Don't worry.
1278
01:00:30,693 --> 01:00:32,929
I just need to call Yuki.
1279
01:00:32,995 --> 01:00:34,697
You're married to Yuki?
1280
01:00:34,697 --> 01:00:36,166
Really?
1281
01:00:36,166 --> 01:00:39,235
-That guy stole my phone.
-Well, the landline!
1282
01:00:39,235 --> 01:00:40,570
Ohh...
1283
01:00:40,570 --> 01:00:42,605
-We need towels!
-Towels!
1284
01:00:42,672 --> 01:00:44,941
[barking]
1285
01:00:44,941 --> 01:00:47,109
Ugh! Ugh!
1286
01:00:47,177 --> 01:00:49,412
What are they
fucking feeding you?
1287
01:00:49,412 --> 01:00:52,949
-Shh.
-[cell phone rings]
1288
01:00:53,015 --> 01:00:54,717
-Yuki?
-[normal voice] Hi, honey.
1289
01:00:54,717 --> 01:00:57,086
-There was a robbery.
They took everyone's money.
-What?
1290
01:00:57,086 --> 01:00:58,721
Wait, what are you talking...?
Hey, hey.
1291
01:00:58,788 --> 01:01:01,724
-[groaning]
-Oh, yeah,
I'm coming down, honey.
1292
01:01:01,791 --> 01:01:04,360
[groaning]
1293
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:06,095
Natalay!
1294
01:01:06,162 --> 01:01:08,465
-Hey! It's your little necklace!
-Do you...
1295
01:01:08,465 --> 01:01:12,402
-You know this dog?
-Yeah, sure, this is Natalay.
Dzanielle's dog.
1296
01:01:12,402 --> 01:01:14,370
My wife's about to have
a baby right now.
1297
01:01:14,370 --> 01:01:16,639
You think you could take her up?
1298
01:01:16,639 --> 01:01:19,175
-No problem.
-Thank you.
1299
01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:21,411
-Thank you, uh...
-Gary.
1300
01:01:21,411 --> 01:01:24,146
Gary. Uh... Yuki.
1301
01:01:24,747 --> 01:01:26,416
-Okay.-Congratulations!
1302
01:01:26,416 --> 01:01:29,819
Yeah, get out of here.
Go have a baby.
1303
01:01:29,819 --> 01:01:31,787
-[Dzanielle] I got aromatherapy.
-Ahh.
1304
01:01:31,787 --> 01:01:34,090
[normal voice]
Honey, what happened? Hi!
1305
01:01:34,090 --> 01:01:35,692
How is it...
How's everything?
1306
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:37,427
What even happened with...?
1307
01:01:37,427 --> 01:01:40,997
[precise diction]
I am... Yuki is here to...
1308
01:01:40,997 --> 01:01:43,065
We're way past that, babe.
1309
01:01:43,132 --> 01:01:45,602
We know,
and we think it's wonderful.
1310
01:01:45,602 --> 01:01:47,237
[groans]
1311
01:01:47,303 --> 01:01:49,939
Lavender and lanolin.
It's very calming.
1312
01:01:50,006 --> 01:01:52,575
Honey, I'm going to go
get us a cab!
1313
01:01:52,575 --> 01:01:57,580
Go home! I need my gold bag
and my birthing playlist!
1314
01:01:57,580 --> 01:02:03,319
[long groan]
1315
01:02:06,889 --> 01:02:09,025
-Can I help you?
-I'm Gary.
1316
01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:10,226
Hi... Gary.
1317
01:02:10,293 --> 01:02:12,529
Do you work in the building?
1318
01:02:12,529 --> 01:02:14,830
No, sir. I, uh...
1319
01:02:14,830 --> 01:02:16,165
I have your dog.
1320
01:02:16,165 --> 01:02:17,900
-Oh, Natalay.
-Yeah.
1321
01:02:17,967 --> 01:02:19,935
And I'm friends
with your children.
1322
01:02:20,002 --> 01:02:21,937
-I-I'm sorry?
-Yeah.
1323
01:02:21,937 --> 01:02:23,540
Loo, loo, loo, loo, loo.
1324
01:02:23,540 --> 01:02:26,809
She loves to lick me,
and I kind of love it, too.
1325
01:02:26,876 --> 01:02:28,144
-Gary!-Gary!
1326
01:02:28,144 --> 01:02:29,612
Hey, do you know this man?
1327
01:02:29,612 --> 01:02:30,913
This is our friend, Dad. Gary.
1328
01:02:30,913 --> 01:02:32,915
He's unhoused,
but he's really cool.
1329
01:02:32,915 --> 01:02:34,751
Wh... Uh...
1330
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:35,851
Here you go.
1331
01:02:35,851 --> 01:02:38,220
[Jordan] Uh... Oh. Uh...
1332
01:02:38,821 --> 01:02:39,822
Okay.
1333
01:02:39,822 --> 01:02:41,591
Thanks. All right.
1334
01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:43,859
Oh, right. Yeah. No, I've...
1335
01:02:43,926 --> 01:02:45,895
I've seen you
in the neighborhood. Right?
1336
01:02:45,961 --> 01:02:48,264
-Mm.
-Right. Or, um...
1337
01:02:48,331 --> 01:02:50,900
pretended not to see you
in the neighborhood,
1338
01:02:50,900 --> 01:02:52,402
if I'm being honest.
1339
01:02:52,402 --> 01:02:54,337
No, I... It's okay.
I get it all the time.
1340
01:02:54,337 --> 01:02:56,306
Do you want to come in
and play Stardew Valley?
1341
01:02:56,306 --> 01:02:58,541
-Or take a nap, or a shower...
-Oh, kids...
1342
01:02:58,541 --> 01:03:01,143
-...or a shower-nap?
-Mom loves shower-naps.
1343
01:03:01,143 --> 01:03:04,380
Uh... no... No.
I'll see you guys later.
1344
01:03:04,380 --> 01:03:05,448
[both] Please.
1345
01:03:05,981 --> 01:03:08,551
Uh, no, I'm sorry, I gotta go.
1346
01:03:11,354 --> 01:03:12,655
[Jordan sighs]
1347
01:03:17,460 --> 01:03:19,261
Hey, Gary.
1348
01:03:19,862 --> 01:03:21,931
Why don't you...
Why don't you come in?
1349
01:03:21,997 --> 01:03:23,366
I'm sure it's been a long time
1350
01:03:23,366 --> 01:03:26,235
since you've had a hot meal,
warm shower.
1351
01:03:26,235 --> 01:03:28,938
It has 360 water jets...
1352
01:03:28,938 --> 01:03:29,939
You'll love it.
1353
01:03:30,005 --> 01:03:32,442
No, no. [chuckles]
1354
01:03:32,442 --> 01:03:33,509
Thank you.
1355
01:03:34,410 --> 01:03:36,946
I thought homeless people
want to be inside, though.
1356
01:03:36,946 --> 01:03:38,280
Unhoused!
1357
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:40,216
"Unhoused" people
want to be inside.
1358
01:03:40,216 --> 01:03:41,351
No!
1359
01:03:42,485 --> 01:03:43,720
No, they want homes.
1360
01:03:44,186 --> 01:03:47,523
Homeless people want homes.
1361
01:03:48,758 --> 01:03:50,192
I'm sorry, kids, you know...
1362
01:03:50,192 --> 01:03:53,496
I know you mean well, but, uh...
1363
01:03:53,496 --> 01:03:57,166
Getting a sneak peek into
someone else's fabulous life
1364
01:03:57,166 --> 01:03:59,235
and then going
back to the streets
1365
01:03:59,301 --> 01:04:02,605
kind of hurts more
than it helps.
1366
01:04:06,041 --> 01:04:07,510
He's right.
1367
01:04:08,411 --> 01:04:09,646
Let him go.
1368
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:14,250
All right, come on, come on.
1369
01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:19,822
Excuse me.
1370
01:04:21,123 --> 01:04:23,359
Twenty-two...
Twenty-two minutes!
1371
01:04:23,359 --> 01:04:25,662
Come here.
It's much more comfortable.
1372
01:04:25,662 --> 01:04:27,329
I did it very Zen.
1373
01:04:27,329 --> 01:04:29,465
[groaning]
1374
01:04:29,465 --> 01:04:31,401
Oh, no, no, no,
that's not sanitary.
1375
01:04:31,467 --> 01:04:34,336
There's the toenail clippings
and heel skins.
1376
01:04:34,336 --> 01:04:36,806
No time. Baby is
knock-knock knocking
1377
01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:37,907
on cervix door.
1378
01:04:37,907 --> 01:04:39,876
[groaning]
1379
01:04:39,876 --> 01:04:42,378
You strong! You strong
like a chipmunk.
1380
01:04:42,378 --> 01:04:46,048
-[groaning]
-Holy fucking shit.
1381
01:04:46,048 --> 01:04:48,418
-I see a head.
-Oh, I'm calling 911.
1382
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:51,387
Good, 'cause I'm not going
to make it to hospital.
1383
01:04:52,522 --> 01:04:55,558
Yuki, abandon all hope
of getting a taxi.
1384
01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,493
The stork is in flight.
1385
01:04:57,493 --> 01:04:59,195
I am on 74...
1386
01:04:59,195 --> 01:05:01,698
Just like my mother, all seven,
cut open, no anesthesia.
1387
01:05:01,698 --> 01:05:04,366
-You can do it.
-[groaning]
1388
01:05:04,366 --> 01:05:05,902
Hi. Um...
1389
01:05:05,968 --> 01:05:08,137
Think of your
happy place. Okay?
1390
01:05:08,204 --> 01:05:11,240
My happy place
is my foot up your ass.
1391
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,042
So nice to see you all together.
1392
01:05:13,042 --> 01:05:15,845
[laughter]
We should do
double date sometime.
1393
01:05:15,845 --> 01:05:18,047
-Oh. Yeah.
-What are you doing?
1394
01:05:18,047 --> 01:05:20,349
Go get the ice.
Go get the towel.
1395
01:05:20,349 --> 01:05:23,152
time pushing, okay?
Hold on.
1396
01:05:23,152 --> 01:05:24,654
I find something to tie it down.
1397
01:05:24,654 --> 01:05:25,988
Okay, you've got this.
1398
01:05:25,988 --> 01:05:28,057
We are in
a little goddess circle,
1399
01:05:28,123 --> 01:05:29,225
circling you with love.
1400
01:05:29,225 --> 01:05:31,193
[speaking native language]
1401
01:05:34,163 --> 01:05:36,499
-What did she say?
-She said you're very kind.
1402
01:05:36,499 --> 01:05:37,533
Oh.
1403
01:05:37,533 --> 01:05:38,735
[Yuki] Ice.
1404
01:05:39,736 --> 01:05:43,473
[speaking native language]
1405
01:05:46,308 --> 01:05:48,110
She love you very much.
1406
01:05:48,110 --> 01:05:51,514
[speaking native language]
1407
01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:57,453
We love you, too, girl.
You got this.
1408
01:05:57,453 --> 01:05:58,588
Bite down!
1409
01:05:59,088 --> 01:06:01,457
-[screaming]
-You are a strong, brave,
1410
01:06:01,457 --> 01:06:03,626
badass New Yorker!
1411
01:06:03,626 --> 01:06:07,463
[screaming]
1412
01:06:08,498 --> 01:06:10,633
[baby crying]
1413
01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:12,568
Oh, my God!
1414
01:06:12,568 --> 01:06:13,970
It's a baby!
1415
01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:17,439
Oh, my God, Karen,
you did it. Mazel tov!
1416
01:06:17,974 --> 01:06:20,175
[baby crying]
1417
01:06:21,611 --> 01:06:23,445
Aww!
1418
01:06:24,246 --> 01:06:26,516
[woman speaking native language]
1419
01:06:26,582 --> 01:06:28,350
[Yuki] I know.
1420
01:06:28,350 --> 01:06:32,788
[baby cooing]
1421
01:06:32,788 --> 01:06:34,223
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1422
01:06:34,290 --> 01:06:36,526
[speaking indistinctly]
1423
01:06:38,027 --> 01:06:40,529
[speaking indistinctly]
1424
01:06:40,529 --> 01:06:41,831
Okay. Sounding great.
1425
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:43,198
Let's try the blessing
one more time.
1426
01:06:43,198 --> 01:06:45,100
Doing great. Here we go.
1427
01:06:46,101 --> 01:06:48,704
[singing prayer]
1428
01:06:48,704 --> 01:06:50,873
Oh, you sound like
a dying horse.
1429
01:06:50,873 --> 01:06:52,909
-[shushing]
-It's so nasal.
1430
01:06:52,909 --> 01:06:54,877
Tell her to stop.
1431
01:06:54,877 --> 01:06:57,112
-[Dakota continues singing]
-[Jared mocking]
1432
01:06:57,112 --> 01:06:59,749
[Jordan] No, Jared. Hello?
1433
01:06:59,749 --> 01:07:01,083
There you are.
1434
01:07:01,083 --> 01:07:03,953
Where have you been?
We were worried.
1435
01:07:03,953 --> 01:07:07,256
You have no idea.
I need a shot.
1436
01:07:07,256 --> 01:07:09,358
You could have called.
1437
01:07:10,125 --> 01:07:12,562
Could I have?
It's kind of hard
1438
01:07:12,628 --> 01:07:16,699
when your iPhone
is stolen at gunpoint.
1439
01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:18,200
-What?
-Mom, are you okay?
1440
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:19,702
I'm fine, I'm fine.
1441
01:07:19,702 --> 01:07:21,838
It's just my nerves
are julienned.
1442
01:07:21,838 --> 01:07:23,940
-Are you serious?
-Jord...
1443
01:07:23,940 --> 01:07:26,375
Jord, my ring was stolen.
1444
01:07:26,375 --> 01:07:29,879
I was feeling kind of, like,
just depressed and down
1445
01:07:29,879 --> 01:07:32,548
and I put it on,
and this gunman robbed
1446
01:07:32,548 --> 01:07:34,516
the whole mani-pedi place,
and he took it.
1447
01:07:34,584 --> 01:07:36,118
-He took everything.
-[Dakota] What?
1448
01:07:36,118 --> 01:07:38,054
And then a baby
was born on the floor.
1449
01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:40,790
-Baby? Whose...
-I'm so sorry.
1450
01:07:40,790 --> 01:07:41,924
Hey, hey, hey.
1451
01:07:41,924 --> 01:07:45,227
It's okay, it's okay.
1452
01:07:48,698 --> 01:07:51,601
God, your hugs
1453
01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:53,603
always made me feel so safe.
1454
01:07:54,436 --> 01:07:55,738
[Jordan] Well...
1455
01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:57,840
Well, you'll
always have them.
1456
01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:01,944
I'll always be here for you.
1457
01:08:01,944 --> 01:08:06,382
You're a true friend
and baby daddy.
1458
01:08:07,817 --> 01:08:09,251
And a mensch.
1459
01:08:16,291 --> 01:08:17,760
You okay?
1460
01:08:17,827 --> 01:08:19,729
Yeah, I will be.
1461
01:08:26,035 --> 01:08:28,705
[soft chuckle]
1462
01:08:28,705 --> 01:08:31,240
Morty!
1463
01:08:39,982 --> 01:08:42,350
Oh, my love.
1464
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,455
[soft happy chuckle]
1465
01:08:46,455 --> 01:08:51,026
I had the most
amazing and crazy day.
1466
01:08:51,026 --> 01:08:53,062
You would not believe.
1467
01:08:54,163 --> 01:08:56,198
But I missed you.
1468
01:08:56,198 --> 01:08:59,301
I'm so delighted
for you, my heart.
1469
01:09:00,236 --> 01:09:02,470
You deserve all the happiness.
1470
01:09:02,537 --> 01:09:05,908
-As do you, my love.
-[Morty laughs quietly]
1471
01:09:05,908 --> 01:09:07,809
You know what I think?
1472
01:09:08,745 --> 01:09:10,511
In my lifetime...
1473
01:09:12,381 --> 01:09:17,754
I've had all the good fortune
that one man can have.
1474
01:09:19,421 --> 01:09:22,557
And having you here
at the last...
1475
01:09:23,325 --> 01:09:26,295
is more than I could
ever wish for.
1476
01:09:27,629 --> 01:09:29,431
What are you saying?
1477
01:09:32,501 --> 01:09:35,636
It's time for me
to say goodbye, Blag.
1478
01:09:35,705 --> 01:09:36,872
No.
1479
01:09:37,238 --> 01:09:39,541
No, I still need you.
1480
01:09:40,408 --> 01:09:43,813
You are first man
to really love me.
1481
01:09:43,813 --> 01:09:45,848
I won't be the last.
1482
01:09:46,448 --> 01:09:49,818
Your heart
is as big as this city.
1483
01:09:49,818 --> 01:09:53,087
I promise, someday...
1484
01:09:53,823 --> 01:09:55,491
you'll love again.
1485
01:09:55,491 --> 01:09:58,294
No, Morty.
[crying]
1486
01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:02,097
[sighs]
1487
01:10:04,433 --> 01:10:06,601
I love you, Blag.
1488
01:10:09,905 --> 01:10:12,074
[hoarsely] I love you.
1489
01:10:12,074 --> 01:10:15,677
[labored breathing]
1490
01:10:33,963 --> 01:10:37,533
Everyone think
I wait for him to die.
1491
01:10:37,533 --> 01:10:39,335
But they know nothing.
1492
01:10:41,202 --> 01:10:44,439
I would fall asleep
listening to him sleep.
1493
01:10:45,474 --> 01:10:47,809
It was comfort.
1494
01:10:47,809 --> 01:10:50,112
But now he's gone, and...
1495
01:10:51,113 --> 01:10:53,415
-All is quiet.
-No.
1496
01:10:53,415 --> 01:10:55,517
He was just as lucky
to have you
1497
01:10:55,517 --> 01:10:57,053
as you were him.
1498
01:10:58,620 --> 01:11:01,123
I think he hold on...
1499
01:11:01,123 --> 01:11:03,225
till he know I am okay.
1500
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:07,629
Till I have friend. Like you.
1501
01:11:16,372 --> 01:11:18,407
Yeah, yeah.
1502
01:11:18,407 --> 01:11:19,775
Here she is.
1503
01:11:20,475 --> 01:11:22,077
Hi.
1504
01:11:22,077 --> 01:11:25,614
I can't believe
she's finally here.
1505
01:11:26,448 --> 01:11:28,317
And those women.
1506
01:11:28,851 --> 01:11:30,952
They actually were really nice.
1507
01:11:30,952 --> 01:11:32,654
-Yeah.
-[baby cooing]
1508
01:11:32,654 --> 01:11:34,423
I mean, I can't believe that
1509
01:11:34,423 --> 01:11:38,460
you all got robbed
by a crazy, gun-toting thief.
1510
01:11:38,460 --> 01:11:39,795
Hmm.
1511
01:11:39,795 --> 01:11:41,463
This fucking country.
1512
01:11:42,464 --> 01:11:46,102
Are you sure we should
raise our baby here?
1513
01:11:47,870 --> 01:11:49,805
We are her parents.
1514
01:11:50,739 --> 01:11:52,641
She'll be just fine.
1515
01:11:57,813 --> 01:11:59,548
Yeah.
1516
01:12:00,249 --> 01:12:02,051
[Dzanielle] After the Shiva,
1517
01:12:02,051 --> 01:12:04,620
I was the busiest person
in all of New York City.
1518
01:12:04,620 --> 01:12:05,955
Blag and I were building up
1519
01:12:05,955 --> 01:12:07,990
to the big launch
for our charity.
1520
01:12:08,057 --> 01:12:10,326
Did you know that
to give people stuff for free,
1521
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:12,494
you have to do, like,
tons of paperwork?
1522
01:12:13,495 --> 01:12:16,332
Jared and Dakota's b'nai
was basically minutes away,
1523
01:12:16,332 --> 01:12:19,168
so I was in a frantic frenzy
running to all the B's,
1524
01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:22,338
Bloomie's, Bergdorf's,
RIP Barneys.
1525
01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:25,240
I went to Julien Farel
for a hair rehearsal,
1526
01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:27,542
makeup application.
1527
01:12:27,542 --> 01:12:29,445
Thank God for Botox
and Georgia Louise,
1528
01:12:29,511 --> 01:12:31,713
or I would look
like utter dreck.
1529
01:12:33,449 --> 01:12:34,816
We got it.
1530
01:12:34,816 --> 01:12:37,153
Today is the day
1531
01:12:37,153 --> 01:12:40,255
you become a woman and a man.
1532
01:12:41,690 --> 01:12:42,925
My kids are all grown up.
1533
01:12:42,992 --> 01:12:46,395
So proud of you. Group hug.
1534
01:12:46,395 --> 01:12:47,729
[Jordan] Aw.
1535
01:12:48,830 --> 01:12:51,400
Remember, no matter what,
your mom and dad love you.
1536
01:12:51,400 --> 01:12:54,236
Okay?
Just don't fuck it up.
1537
01:12:54,236 --> 01:12:56,438
[reciting prayer in Hebrew]
1538
01:13:10,052 --> 01:13:12,188
[upbeat music playing]
1539
01:13:16,158 --> 01:13:20,062
-Oh, you look gorgeous!
-That dress!
1540
01:13:20,129 --> 01:13:22,198
Good to see you.
Thanks for coming.
1541
01:13:22,198 --> 01:13:23,665
Get yourself a drink.
1542
01:13:23,665 --> 01:13:25,834
[crowd chattering]
1543
01:13:31,473 --> 01:13:33,242
Jord. Hi, Jord.
1544
01:13:33,242 --> 01:13:35,945
-Hey.
-So what do you think?
1545
01:13:35,945 --> 01:13:37,980
Well, I gotta say...
1546
01:13:37,980 --> 01:13:39,614
pretty perfect.
1547
01:13:39,681 --> 01:13:43,352
Well, Bronson did
most of the heavy-lifting.
1548
01:13:48,024 --> 01:13:49,691
Stunning.
1549
01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:51,760
Well, you're not
so bad yourself.
1550
01:13:58,367 --> 01:13:59,601
Kim!
1551
01:14:01,870 --> 01:14:03,605
[sighs]
1552
01:14:06,408 --> 01:14:07,609
Hi, everyone.
1553
01:14:07,609 --> 01:14:09,478
[applause]
1554
01:14:13,915 --> 01:14:16,986
Jared and I wanted
to thank you all so much
for coming tonight.
1555
01:14:17,053 --> 01:14:20,222
And we wanna thank
our awesome parents
for throwing us this party.
1556
01:14:20,222 --> 01:14:24,093
And we wanna talk to you
about what we learned
as we prepared for tonight.
1557
01:14:24,093 --> 01:14:27,162
If we leave you
with one word tonight,
it is achi-ha.
1558
01:14:27,162 --> 01:14:30,066
Your brother. It's easy for me
to see Jared as my brother.
1559
01:14:30,066 --> 01:14:33,769
I mean, the first room we shared
was literally in my mom.
1560
01:14:33,835 --> 01:14:36,305
She evicted us. Not cool.
1561
01:14:36,371 --> 01:14:38,040
[laughter]
1562
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,541
But it's hard to see people
1563
01:14:39,541 --> 01:14:41,510
who seem different from you
as your brother.
1564
01:14:41,510 --> 01:14:44,379
And yet the Torah commands us
to do just that.
1565
01:14:44,379 --> 01:14:47,949
Genesis describes all humans
as created B'tzelem Elohim,
1566
01:14:47,949 --> 01:14:49,818
-in the image of God.
-[speaks indistinctly]
1567
01:14:49,818 --> 01:14:51,553
We're all created
in the same image,
1568
01:14:51,553 --> 01:14:53,922
and to deny that
is an affront to God.
1569
01:14:53,922 --> 01:14:55,591
What asshole wants to do that?
1570
01:14:55,591 --> 01:14:59,128
So tonight, my brother and I
have taken on a challenge,
1571
01:14:59,128 --> 01:15:00,862
and we're inviting you all
to do the same.
1572
01:15:00,862 --> 01:15:02,498
We're proud to announce
1573
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:05,567
that everything you have so
generously given us tonight...
1574
01:15:06,635 --> 01:15:08,304
[both]...we're giving away.
1575
01:15:08,370 --> 01:15:09,538
[applause]
1576
01:15:09,538 --> 01:15:12,108
To a kickass new charity,
founded by our mom
1577
01:15:12,108 --> 01:15:13,908
and Ms. Blagdanorova Hammerman.
1578
01:15:13,908 --> 01:15:16,278
Mom, Blagdanorova, take it away.
1579
01:15:16,278 --> 01:15:19,748
[applause]
1580
01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,117
Thanks, kids.
1581
01:15:21,117 --> 01:15:22,684
As you all can imagine,
1582
01:15:22,751 --> 01:15:25,054
these two have given me a lot
to think about lately.
1583
01:15:25,054 --> 01:15:28,257
I was scared on
the Upper East Side that
I'd be raising the Bling Ring,
1584
01:15:28,257 --> 01:15:32,227
but I found out I got a couple
tiny Bonos on my hands.
1585
01:15:32,294 --> 01:15:33,728
Now there's three too many.
1586
01:15:33,728 --> 01:15:34,830
[chuckles]
1587
01:15:34,830 --> 01:15:36,198
Kidding, I kid.
1588
01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:38,067
As my wonderful kids have shown,
1589
01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:39,835
we need to lead by example.
1590
01:15:39,835 --> 01:15:43,772
Yes, I've influenced people
to buy B The Method workouts
1591
01:15:43,772 --> 01:15:47,976
and Drunk Elephant,
but now I want to use
my influencing for good.
1592
01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:49,611
For charity.
1593
01:15:49,611 --> 01:15:51,513
Tonight, Dzanielle and I,
1594
01:15:51,580 --> 01:15:55,851
we are going to announce
new non-profit.
1595
01:15:55,851 --> 01:15:58,253
Y-IMBY.
1596
01:15:58,987 --> 01:16:02,124
-YIMBY.-YIMBY.
1597
01:16:02,124 --> 01:16:04,326
Yes In My Backyard.
1598
01:16:04,326 --> 01:16:06,728
[applause]
Gary, please come up.
1599
01:16:06,728 --> 01:16:09,831
Gary inspired
our new non-profit.
Take it away, Gar.
1600
01:16:09,831 --> 01:16:11,567
Thank you, ladies.
1601
01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:15,837
Hi there, attractive
rich people. [chuckles]
1602
01:16:15,837 --> 01:16:17,472
And the unattractive ones.
1603
01:16:17,472 --> 01:16:21,610
I've been unhoused
for about two years,
1604
01:16:21,610 --> 01:16:23,579
which fucking sucks.
1605
01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:25,747
I'm sorry, I just...
1606
01:16:25,747 --> 01:16:27,449
No, actually, I'm not sorry.
1607
01:16:27,449 --> 01:16:30,119
It does. It sucks a duffle
full of dicks. [chuckles]
1608
01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:31,520
So a few months ago...
1609
01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:32,821
Oh, fuck.
1610
01:16:32,821 --> 01:16:34,123
I am sitting on the street,
1611
01:16:34,123 --> 01:16:36,725
and I have
a tremendous sharp pain,
1612
01:16:36,725 --> 01:16:40,429
uh, not in my asshole,
but around the asshole.
1613
01:16:40,495 --> 01:16:43,565
Hemorrhoids are the wrong word.
1614
01:16:44,733 --> 01:16:47,403
Wonderful. Wonderful.
1615
01:16:47,403 --> 01:16:51,106
Um... so, uh...
1616
01:16:53,074 --> 01:16:54,276
Okay.
1617
01:16:54,943 --> 01:16:57,246
The problem was
in my backyard, you see.
1618
01:16:57,246 --> 01:16:59,481
And the problem's
in all our backyards.
1619
01:17:02,451 --> 01:17:05,019
-[Dzanielle] So inspiring, Gary.
-[applause]
1620
01:17:05,019 --> 01:17:06,922
Thank you for sharing.
1621
01:17:06,922 --> 01:17:08,724
That's a lot to think about.
1622
01:17:08,790 --> 01:17:12,994
YIMBY will make the billionaire
real estate tax a reality.
1623
01:17:12,994 --> 01:17:15,164
Yes In My Backyard's goal
1624
01:17:15,164 --> 01:17:18,967
is to take the current
1.5% mansion tax,
1625
01:17:18,967 --> 01:17:20,835
give it a spank,
and with your help,
1626
01:17:20,835 --> 01:17:23,972
grow it into a flip tax
of up to 10%.
1627
01:17:23,972 --> 01:17:26,808
So if you buy
a 75-million-dollar apartment,
1628
01:17:26,808 --> 01:17:32,113
you have to give
7.5 million dollars
towards housing the unhoused.
1629
01:17:32,113 --> 01:17:35,850
This billionaire real estate tax
will change the city.
1630
01:17:35,916 --> 01:17:38,787
And we know how much
everybody spend
1631
01:17:38,787 --> 01:17:40,989
for dog walk and fecal report,
1632
01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:44,693
so we know this doable!
1633
01:17:44,693 --> 01:17:46,462
So I'm thrilled to announce
1634
01:17:46,462 --> 01:17:49,063
that we're not just gonna wait
for public policy.
1635
01:17:49,130 --> 01:17:50,732
We're starting right now.
1636
01:17:50,732 --> 01:17:54,369
I am putting my money
where my Rejuvedermed mouth is.
1637
01:17:54,369 --> 01:17:55,504
Jord and I...
1638
01:17:56,705 --> 01:18:00,675
have just bought an apartment
in our building for you, Gary,
1639
01:18:00,742 --> 01:18:02,978
as the inaugural
YIMBY residence.
1640
01:18:02,978 --> 01:18:04,413
[applause]
1641
01:18:04,413 --> 01:18:06,782
This great. This great.
You clap. You clap. Yes.
1642
01:18:06,782 --> 01:18:08,082
Give hug.
1643
01:18:09,851 --> 01:18:11,720
[speaking indistinctly]
1644
01:18:12,854 --> 01:18:13,955
Come here, Gary.
1645
01:18:13,955 --> 01:18:14,990
[laughs]
1646
01:18:14,990 --> 01:18:17,293
Yes In My Backyard.
1647
01:18:17,293 --> 01:18:19,428
[chanting] Yes In My Backyard.
1648
01:18:19,495 --> 01:18:21,663
-Please don't do this...
-Gary, Gary.
1649
01:18:21,663 --> 01:18:23,865
Yes In My Backyard.
1650
01:18:23,865 --> 01:18:25,701
Yes In My Backyard.
1651
01:18:25,701 --> 01:18:28,603
-All right.
-Yes In My Backyard.
1652
01:18:28,670 --> 01:18:29,904
[softly]
Oh, Morty.
1653
01:18:30,439 --> 01:18:32,907
And I hope
all of you will join us.
1654
01:18:32,907 --> 01:18:35,143
[club music playing]
1655
01:18:37,045 --> 01:18:38,980
-Girls, sorry...
-Oh, mazel tov.
1656
01:18:39,047 --> 01:18:41,049
it took me so long
to get over here.
1657
01:18:41,049 --> 01:18:43,485
-Oh, it was beautiful.
-[cash register bell rings]
1658
01:18:43,485 --> 01:18:44,686
Drop dead.
1659
01:18:45,821 --> 01:18:46,988
McKinley!
1660
01:18:46,988 --> 01:18:48,490
-Oh, hi, doll.
-You look amazing.
1661
01:18:48,490 --> 01:18:51,159
Oh, you do,
you're all so gorgeous.
1662
01:18:51,159 --> 01:18:52,827
I don't think we've met.
1663
01:18:52,827 --> 01:18:55,664
Liz Hittler.
Two Ts, no relation.
1664
01:18:55,664 --> 01:19:00,502
Gary Pootin. Two Os no U.
1665
01:19:00,502 --> 01:19:03,004
-Come on.
-Yeah!
1666
01:19:03,004 --> 01:19:05,040
Is this seat taken?
1667
01:19:05,040 --> 01:19:07,743
It is now. [chuckles]
1668
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:10,712
I have an apartment uptown
if you...
1669
01:19:10,712 --> 01:19:13,014
-Oh, yeah?
-...need a place to stay.
1670
01:19:13,014 --> 01:19:14,883
I could stay
at an apartment anywhere.
1671
01:19:14,883 --> 01:19:18,086
I mean, any apartment
would be fine for me.
1672
01:19:18,086 --> 01:19:22,591
And, uh, that circular motion
you're making with your thumb,
it, um...
1673
01:19:22,591 --> 01:19:24,493
-Let's go now.
-Oh.
1674
01:19:24,493 --> 01:19:25,727
Okay.
1675
01:19:32,434 --> 01:19:33,702
You know...
1676
01:19:33,702 --> 01:19:36,705
I don't know if I've ever seen
this many people,
1677
01:19:36,705 --> 01:19:40,942
at this many income levels,
having this much fun
1678
01:19:40,942 --> 01:19:42,677
all at the same time.
1679
01:19:43,312 --> 01:19:45,146
You really put it together.
1680
01:19:45,146 --> 01:19:47,583
Well, the kids did it, Jord.
1681
01:19:48,249 --> 01:19:50,684
God, where did they
come from, anyway?
1682
01:19:51,420 --> 01:19:52,554
From you.
1683
01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:57,459
You know...
somewhere along the way,
1684
01:19:57,459 --> 01:20:00,862
you may have forgotten that
you have a huge heart,
but I never did.
1685
01:20:00,929 --> 01:20:04,532
Jord, I'm pretty sure
you had something
to do with it too.
1686
01:20:08,770 --> 01:20:10,171
I missed you.
1687
01:20:10,839 --> 01:20:12,674
I never stopped loving you.
1688
01:20:14,008 --> 01:20:17,446
You're my person.
The one I always wanna call.
1689
01:20:17,446 --> 01:20:19,781
I promise you
that I will never get whacked
1690
01:20:19,781 --> 01:20:22,484
by anyone else
for the rest of my life.
1691
01:20:24,119 --> 01:20:25,554
I love you.
1692
01:20:25,621 --> 01:20:27,823
Will you please
give me another chance.
1693
01:20:28,289 --> 01:20:30,992
Of course, I will. I love you.
1694
01:20:30,992 --> 01:20:33,027
-You will?
-Of course!
1695
01:20:33,027 --> 01:20:34,430
Oh, thank goodness.
1696
01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:36,030
Thank goodness.
1697
01:20:36,030 --> 01:20:38,634
No, seriously. Thank goodness.
1698
01:20:38,634 --> 01:20:42,571
Because otherwise,
I don't know what
I would have done with this.
1699
01:20:42,571 --> 01:20:44,305
[Dzanielle gasps]
1700
01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:46,107
Jord!
1701
01:20:46,107 --> 01:20:48,109
[Jordan] Will you please
do me the honor
1702
01:20:48,109 --> 01:20:50,946
of being my ex ex-wife?
1703
01:20:50,946 --> 01:20:53,181
Fuck yes! [laughs]
1704
01:20:53,247 --> 01:20:55,316
She said fuck yes, kids!
1705
01:20:55,316 --> 01:20:57,419
[cheering]
1706
01:20:59,988 --> 01:21:01,322
Kids!
1707
01:21:01,322 --> 01:21:03,859
[giggling]
1708
01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:06,662
This so beautiful.
1709
01:21:06,662 --> 01:21:10,432
-[Jared] You're not a kid.
-Real happy ending.
1710
01:21:12,767 --> 01:21:15,170
-Hello.
-[Dzanielle] Hi, tiger.
1711
01:21:16,204 --> 01:21:19,574
So, um, I was just thinking
1712
01:21:19,574 --> 01:21:21,643
about your...
1713
01:21:23,912 --> 01:21:25,681
procedure.
1714
01:21:25,747 --> 01:21:27,648
The re-virginization?
1715
01:21:27,648 --> 01:21:29,250
[Jordan] Mm-hm.
1716
01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:33,188
My doctor said it's gonna
feel like the first time.
1717
01:21:33,188 --> 01:21:35,790
So you have to go really slow.
1718
01:21:35,790 --> 01:21:37,125
Huh...
1719
01:21:39,394 --> 01:21:41,129
I'll try.
1720
01:21:46,934 --> 01:21:48,937
Wait, wait, wait.
1721
01:21:48,937 --> 01:21:50,906
Shouldn't we...
1722
01:21:50,906 --> 01:21:53,208
save this for the wedding night?
1723
01:21:53,208 --> 01:21:54,910
Mm...
1724
01:21:54,910 --> 01:21:55,943
Fuck it.
1725
01:21:55,943 --> 01:21:57,946
[moaning]
1726
01:21:58,013 --> 01:22:01,049
I can't wait
for our marriage ceremony.
1727
01:22:02,451 --> 01:22:05,987
Except this time, instead
of walking down the aisle...
1728
01:22:05,987 --> 01:22:08,356
-Mm-hmm?
-I'm gonna run.
1729
01:22:12,059 --> 01:22:13,762
[Jordan] Come here.
1730
01:22:16,364 --> 01:22:17,466
Wait.
1731
01:22:18,199 --> 01:22:21,036
Oh, my God, that's... tiny.
1732
01:22:21,036 --> 01:22:22,971
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
1733
01:22:22,971 --> 01:22:26,975
♪ You know
I'll always be a freak ♪
1734
01:22:26,975 --> 01:22:29,309
♪ It's just the language
that I speak ♪
1735
01:22:29,309 --> 01:22:31,680
♪ Don't want the things
you seek ♪
1736
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:34,315
♪ I'll always be your freak ♪
1737
01:22:36,752 --> 01:22:38,853
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
1738
01:22:38,853 --> 01:22:42,891
♪ You know
I'll always be a freak ♪
1739
01:22:42,891 --> 01:22:45,425
♪ It's just the language
that I speak ♪
1740
01:22:45,425 --> 01:22:47,763
♪ Don't want the things
you seek ♪
1741
01:22:47,763 --> 01:22:50,265
♪ I'll always be your freak ♪
1742
01:22:50,265 --> 01:22:51,567
♪ Ooh ♪
1743
01:22:52,634 --> 01:22:54,803
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
1744
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:59,007
♪ You know
I'll always be a freak ♪
1745
01:22:59,040 --> 01:23:01,943
♪ It's just the language
that I speak ♪
1746
01:23:01,943 --> 01:23:03,645
♪ Don't want the things
you seek ♪
1747
01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:05,914
♪ I'll always be your freak ♪
1748
01:23:05,947 --> 01:23:07,616
♪ Ooh ♪
1749
01:23:24,933 --> 01:23:27,268
["Firecracker"
by Days and Weeks playing]
1750
01:23:44,152 --> 01:23:47,522
["Firecracker"
by Days and Weeks continues]
1751
01:25:50,746 --> 01:25:53,148
[song ends]
1752
01:25:53,148 --> 01:25:55,383
[upbeat rock music]
1753
01:28:23,865 --> 01:28:25,300
[music ends]